Desperate Plea from a Desperate Dieter

It's a fact that whilst you are dieting / trying to lose weight, every day will bring forth a new challenge for you to over come.

Today, mine comes in the form of my other half. In short, the bread supply has run out, so he decided to make some himself using a sun-dried mediterranean tomato flour mix. Usually I wouldn't fault the logic. We used to make our own bread a lot before we moved house and fell out of the habit, so like I said, usually this would be normal sound thinking.

However: I am at present trying to follow quite a strict eating regime, which I am hoping will see me (finally!) losing quite a decent amount of weight.

Bread is one of those things I can't seem resist, I love it whether toasted or not. Whilst I find the taste quite heavenly, the effects on my digestive system can sometimes be hell. Not all the time - that's the kicker, just 'sometimes'. On a bad day, it can set off anything from bloating to stomach pains. Because of this, bread is one of the items on the 'naughty list' and must be avoided at all costs.

Now baring all of the above in mind, on a scale of 1-10 how cruel do you think it was that my other half decided to bake bread today (as opposed to actually going down to the local shops and buying some). No, not 10. The way I'm feeling right now it's shot up to 20, and that's only because I was the one who had to check on them and take them out of the oven when they were done whilst he was upstairs in the office working!!

You thought that was bad, I have the insult to add to the injury. Now my fella, he is a practical man, and to save on the electrics (or something), he always believes that whilst the 'oven is already on', he should take advantage and bake something else - sort of a two for one thing I imagine. That's all very well and good, but when he decides to make chocolate muffins, which I also have to not only smell, but check on and remove from the oven when done, isn't very helpful to the cause.

I've been sitting here over an hour, and I think I have just about got the urge to go eat under control. The urge to have a bread roll is much much stronger than the muffin, so am thinking I will need to do a bit of reconditioning 'tapping' to try and get this under control.

My point is this - those of us who are in need of and are trying to lose weight, got here for a reason. Namely we link a certain amount of pleasure in consuming certain things (we all know our weaknesses, mine is bread, cheese, crisps (pringles!) and alcohol - all of which are now firmly on my no no list). We want to lose weight, and unfortunately a change in attitude towards our 'favourite things' isn't going to happen over night.

To all those living with a serial dieter (shouldn't have mentioned cereal, that's another thing on my no no list), please remember that we are trying to change deep ingrained habits and to be perfectly frank, the most unhelpful thing you can do is (metaphorically) rub our faces in it by flaunting the 'good stuff'. It's like drinking alcohol in front of an alcoholic trying to get and stay sober - genuinely!

Whilst we are 'making the change' please be respectful and supportive of our needs and our weaknesses. Have your takeaways, chocolate, crisps, sweets etc by all means but please don't have them in front of us and especially don't keep going on about how good it tastes!

I promise it wont take too long for us to become empowered enough to be able to choose the right things, and not be bothered by 'the bad', or at least have the ability to consume sensibly and in moderation. But we must be given that chance in order to make the change - which is why not only support and understanding from the home front is so important, but also respect and appreciation for what we are trying to achieve.

Weight Loss Dairy - 8th Sept 2010

She shoots - she scores!! Yes ladies and gentlemen, yesterday we were right back on track (and felt all the happier for it). I am loving how easily I got over my little blip, and got straight back down to business again - you know, life really is so much easier (and more fun) when you don't give yourself a hard time about silly little things.

Yesterday, I received my first compliment regarding my weight, from my mother of all people! As far as I am aware, she doesn't know that I've sent every single 'diet' to Hades. In fact I am sure she thinks I am actually 'on one' (which I'm not, I really can't stress that enough).

But yesterday after our singing group was over and I was packing everything away, she turned around and said to me 'so how much weight have you lost then'. Ahhhh my ma, we do tend to spit things out in an unfortunate tone - that's where I get that habit from you know. I replied about half a stone (well it was the last time I checked), and what was the response? 'Is that all?' (said sort of in disgust) 'you look like you've lost lots more than that, well, keep it up'. Way to go with the positive reinforcement! words were there, tone certainly wasn't tee hee.

Well you could have knocked me down with a kipper skipper! It was nice to hear, no matter in what form it took, that what I have been doing is certainly noticeable - go me!!

But I wonder, is it physical weight loss she is seeing, or is it because I am much more happier in myself, and that is shining through to the world? Either way, it's just one more piece of evidence proving that what I am doing right now for myself, is right for me right now.

My other cause of celebration yesterday was that for dinner, I had my very last weight watchers microwave meal - hurrah! Now despite what Paul McKenna suggests in his I can make you thin programme, no I am not going to go to the fridge / freezer and throw out all those untasteful low calorie diet foods. I have spent good money on them, and as much as I'm starting not to mind wasting food at meal times, I can't bring myself to waste full meals before I've even eaten them!

Now, don't get me wrong, weight watcher meals are 'ok'. Actually some do taste quite nice, but I'd rather have the real thing - home made, fresh, and baked in the oven, not nuked in the microwave! I did enjoy eaten them at the time, but now even more, I am enjoying the thought of only having fresh home cooked meals that make my mouth water - real unadulterated food!

I still have three tubs of slimfast milk shake to use up, and a few boxes of slim fast meal bars and no, I refuse to throw these out either. I wont have these every day, but sometimes, believe it or not, I do really fancy having a slimfast shake or a meal bar for one of my meals. So when I fancy, they are in the cupboard waiting for me. That's not to say I wont really enjoy seeing the back of them when they are all used up - and no, frankly when they are used up they wont be replaced. I'm just saying that at the moment, I can fit them easily and happily into my diet - I've already wasted the money by buying the stuff, I can't waste that money further by not using it.

So today then - big challenge is ahead of me! Other half has a gig up in Manchester of all places! So will be on my own for about twelve hours today (boo hoo).

My challenge today is to not allow El Saboteur (that's my new name for that little inner voice) to rear its ugly head. Honestly, there are lots of things I could be doing today and tonight, so need to focus on being productive, and not dwelling on the sofa again simply because I am on my own.

I think I'll take a leaf out of other halfs book and draw up a 'to do list' to keep me focused throughout the day, as it would be really good to be able to come back tomorrow and say that today was a complete success start to finish! :)

Good Morning Me!!

This is a very strange feeling. I woke up this morning without the usual weight related hang ups. I didn't get up early, haven't exercised, and yet, I feel none of the usual guilt / annoyance / sense of failure that I usually do this time of a morning when I say I'll do something, but end up not.

As I said yesterday, such a huge weight has been (metaphorically) lifted from my shoulders, and now I am faced with a huge void of not knowing quite what to do with myself, how I 'should' be feeling or what I 'should' be doing.

Strangely, I had the most comfortable (and snuggly) nights sleep last night, and I have awoken this morning fresh and alert! Why strange? Because 'usually' I'm waking up, or tossing and turning, and when I wake up, I'm just as groggy in the morning as I was when I went to bed! But not last night, last night was simply sublime :D

As I was walking out of the bedroom, I noticed a couple of books on my dressing table this morning, both entitled 'change your life in seven days!'. I had to chuckle as I haven't even touched them yet, besides which, my feelings this morning were why wait seven days!? I'm changing right now!! I didn't believe it was possible to change 'just like that', but a switch has finally clicked in my brain, and now I believe that anything really is possible - even choosing to change your psychological mind set, and then 'just doing it'.

So onwards and upwards, as it's a Saturday I'll more than likely just do 'busy' jobs today, dog needs a trim, garden needs hoeing that sort of thing, and yes I'll probably get round to doing the housework too! (but we wont hold our breaths on that last one tee hee). I may even just spend a couple of hours sitting in the garden reading (don't gasp, I know, when does that ever happen!?).

The point is, I find myself in a position where there is so much I really want to be doing - none of which involves sitting on my behind, in doors, watching that thing in the corner called TV.

My time is now, not in seven days time, not 'when i reach my goal weight'.

It's right here, and right now. So let's go show the world what I'm really made of :D

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Thirteen

Two days to go until weigh in, and have to say I am a little nervous. From this mornings results I doubt whether I will reach the 7lb goal, however, if I am sensible, there is no reason why I couldn't reach 6lbs - to be frank it fantastic anyway!

This week overall I have been quite proud of myself. I have continued to wake up at 6am, and all but 1 morning I have completed both a toning and an aerobic workout - although saying that, I've done toning exercises only so far this morning so after I have finished this I really have to get on that treadmill.

Despite changing my morning routine to include exercise, it is difficult to see at the moment what physical effect it has on my weight loss. I have begun to change my eating habits, and I know that this alone would have caused me to lose the amount of weight I have already done. Although I do realise that this is extremely early days, and with persistence, the results will become apparent.

That being said, I have noticed a rather obvious change in me emotionally. There are moments where I 'feel' less like a bowl of wobbly jelly, and more like a stick of celery (did you like the food reference there!). My moods have lightened and I'm generally feeling a slightly more happier and confident person.

If this is how I feel after almost a weeks worth of exercise and a little weight loss, imagine how I would feel when I do eventually reach my goal weight - imagine if I really did reach it by the cruise.....my goodness there really would be no stopping me!

So let's for a brief moment put my weight management coach head back on. Why wait to feel like that?

Being slim has more to do with state of mind than body fat. If you think and behave like a healthy person, your thoughts and actions will naturally follow suit, because this is what your mind is focusing on. If you think like a fat person, then a fat person you will be.

I've seen and experienced many times diet clubs / weight loss 'gurus' harping on about how it's important to visualise being at your goal weight.

Great! Well, I've seen myself at my goal weight for the past fifteen years or so, my image of what I'll look like, how I feel etc it's so crystal clear! And yet, here I am, still tackling this problem. Why?

Having a visual image, for me at least, is not enough. Mainly because deep down, perhaps I don't really believe I will ever attain that picture in my minds eye. Perhaps really I believe I am a resounding failure, doomed to spend my life 'trying' but not really trying to lose weight. Maybe I'm not meant to be happy and at my ideal weight......and that is a good demonstration of what I call my 'victim' voice. We all have one - it's that voice inside that says 'there is nothing we can do about it' (oh woe is me, why does this always happen to me, why can't I ever be happy / find the perfect partner / earn enough money etc etc). Pah!

Despite what miss victim voice thinks, in every situation you have the freedom of choice. Whether you believe it or not the only person in control of you is YOU. If you let your boss walk all over you - at the end of the day, you have chosen to put up with it - you don't like it, do something about it! Harsh? ah, but it's so true!!

So what choices does a girl like me have then?

I could have the state of mind that i am 'on a diet', put my life of hold until I've lost the weight, then magically everything is going to be alright. I will be slim, vibrant, and the happiest girl in the world. I will have an abundance of confidence and self belief, doors will be opened, and suddenly, the world has been filled with endless possibilities.

OR

I could believe, right now, that everything is going to be alright, of course I will be slim, but already I am vibrant and the happiest girl in the world. I already have an abundance of confidence and self belief. All doors are open and the world is just bursting with endless possibilities and opportunities.

And if you don't truly belive it yet? easy - blag it! It wont take long at all before you find yourself really believing, living and shaping your life the way that YOU want it to be.

Given the choice - which perspective would you rather take?