Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twenty Six

Well blow me, another successful day! (this is starting to become a habit!).

Actually managed a video dairy yesterday morning, which is trying to upload onto YouTube as we speak. I have managed to upload a couple I have done previously (before I decided to do PM's programme) just as a bit of a taster of how I was coping with life before (or not as was the case). Did attempt the new one last night, but it came up with an error message and failed to upload (boo hoo), so fingers crossed this will work now (have just checked the progress, at least I'm seeing the 'preview' as it downloads, so signs (touch wood) are good!).

Also finally started exercising again, did usual toning stuff (arms / legs / abs), and then did a 10 minute walk / jog on the treadmill. Somewhere along the lines I managed to pull something in my upper thigh as it twinged on and off for most of the day. Well, you know what they say no pain......actually I'd rather leave it there, I'm not very good with pain!

Food wise, I tried to gauge where I was on the hunger scale. When I thought I was hungry I decided to have tuna & crackers, but only managed 1 cracker and a few teaspoonful of tuna before I started to feel quite full and bloated, so put the rest of it back in the fridge. I did go back to the tuna later on when I thought I was feeling hungry, and automatically stopped when I had had enough. Usually I can polish of a can in one sitting (including a number of crackers), so this does signal progress to me!

Evening meal wasn't eaten so consciously. Firstly I didn't gauge whether or not I was actually hungry, and secondly, I was feeling quite annoyed at something or other, so on reflection I ate more emotionally. Still, it was only spicy chicken & homemade chips done in the oven so really I'd hardly call it a 'slip up'. I didn't feel hungry, or eat anything throughout the rest of the evening (despite settling down to watch a film, and other half munching on Bombay mix (which he offered to me) and butter popcorn (which he also try to offer me!!). But suffice to say, I actually wasn't interested at all, I was more concerned about keep hydrated so sipped a couple of 750ml bottles of water.

Finally got around to doing the 'mirror exercise' yesterday. Oh dear, I knew I didn't like myself much, but it really brought home how much self loathing I actually do have for myself :(

There are three stages you have to go through. The first is shutting your eyes, imagining that you are someone who loves themselves, and then when you can hold onto and feel comfortable with that feeling, you open yours eyes and stare into them for two minutes. I thought my imagination was better than that, but could I think of a single person? It took me ages, and even then the person I chose I wasn't convinced, so ended up pretending the person was me. Needless to say, I'm not sure the exercise worked in the way it was supposed to.

Step two was closing your eyes, and remembering a compliment someone had paid you, and then you try to imagine seeing yourself through their eyes. I believe I skipped this step as i don't remember doing it!

Finally Step Three, in a nutshell you look at yourself in the mirror (without clothes, or in my case just my underwear), and basically have a good long look at yourself for about a minute or two. I did this last step, and got quite annoyed. Bottom line, I really did despise what I saw (strong word I know, but it was truly how I felt at the time). On the bright side I could start to see how I would look if some bits were 'shaved' off (I just need one of those sanders they use to shave down doors!). In the end I put my clothes back on a walked off in disgust.

And the moral of the story? Well, at least I have started to face up to my body which I have never done. With the hunger scale thing seemingly to be working so far, my next project is getting the Helly Love back (or just the Helly Like would be a great start!). So I guess this means more time in front of the mirror just 'looking' at myself. I'm sure with practice I'll get better, just need to give this whole 'friendly mirror exercise' thingy a chance.

So with the mirror exercise done, I am pleased to report that was able to finally tick everything off in the 90 day journal hurray!

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twenty Five

I think I'll begin this morning by saying that the scales have now been put behind the TV! Obsession wise, I was fine until I woke up this morning, then I had an argument in my head about should I shouldn't I, and eventually the 'ah go on just a peak' won. Not a happy bunny in that respect so have put the blasted thing out of sight and hopefully out of mind.

I should point out though that today is day four of PM's programme, and the scales this morning show that I have lost a total of 5lbs. Bugga me! What gets me is that I haven't been starving myself, when I've felt (or thought I felt) hungry I ate what I fancied and to top it all off, I haven't actually managed to get back to my exercise routine yet (which I will kick start again this morning).

The problem I am having at the moment is that I can't quite get my head around the fact that my current eating habits are showing so far the easiest weight loss results in my life! I'm not 'on a diet', and yet it appears I've lost 5lbs in 4 days. Very weird.

So what did I do yesterday? Well for starters, I kept a bottle of water with me at all times which I drank from regularly throughout the day. I made a conscious effort to ask myself 'where am I on the hunger scale', and when I thought I was in the 'hungry zone' I ate. I chewed each mouthful slowly, put knife and fork down in between bites, and stopped when I felt comfortably full - throwing out what I couldn't eat, and only feeling a tiny bit guilty about it!

I also listened to PM's CD (twice!) to try and reinforce these habits and keep on the wagon so to speak. Both times I will fully admit to actually drifting off, so I still have no idea what he's saying!

All in all, I am really pleased at how yesterday went, despite not getting around to doing the mirror thing which I will have a go at after I've done my exercises. At least way i can say I've started doing it and can tick it off the list!!

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Sixteen

Ok so bright side, I haven't obsessed over the scales yet and my eating habits are starting to evolve into something a little more sensible. Not perfect, but I'm getting there.

I'm fully aware that exercise has lapsed over the past couple of days, however, and I'm not really sure how much of an excuse this is, but I've not been feeling 100% health wise, I think I have a summer cold or something. Anyway, the combination of headaches, sore throats, nausea, dizzy spells, and the occasional all over shivers and lack of a proper nights sleep are quite enough for me to call a stop to my workout and rest.

I did some work in our front garden yesterday. Basically before we moved it was all covered in shingle, and I am trying to removed the shingle, and the matting they placed underneath it, and break up the soil so it looks like soil and not solid concrete, which is not an easy job when you are doing it on your own.

Anyway, several wheel barrels full of shingle later, I had to stop as I was literally feeling like I was going to pass out. Now, I know I'm not fit by any stretch of the imagination, but I am not that unfit! I've shovelled that shingle plenty times before, and yes got a bit hot and sweaty, but other than that I was fine. But yesterday, was completely different.

This morning, same story again, bad nights sleep, have woken up all bunged up and headachey and as I have said, some completely 100%. So as you have guessed it, no exercise this morning.

That being said, I am absolutely desperate to get back on the tread mill and do something, so I have made my mind up that tonight after work, I will do some treadmill stuff, even if it is just a much slower walking pace than I usually do.

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Fourteen

Official weigh in this morning - this week I have lost the grand total of 1lb. Naturally I don't actually mean the word grand, pathetic might be more appropriate. And the reason? well I suspect it may have something to do with three days of stupid indulgence. Never mind, onwards and upwards!

After I had gotten over the shock of this mornings failings, I sat down and had a little think about things.

I am very proud of myself for managing to get up at 6am almost every morning and exercise. As I have said before, emotionally, I really do feel the benefits of a regular workout, so this is something I will take forward with me into this new up and coming week.

Diet / food wise - not so proud. Hand on heart, my eating habits have a changed very slightly, but no where near to the level as I want it to be. This has got to be one of my main focuses this week.

To help myself out in this area, I have decided to do a combination of slimfast (shakes & bars) for breakfast & lunch, and a weight watchers meal (soup or microwave meal) for dinner. I need to learn portion sizes, and I believe that sticking to this plan will help re-educate my brain as to what portion sizes are acceptable to a person of a size I am striving to be.

In my last post, I talked about behaving like the person you want to be now, and not wait until you have experiences your desired weight loss. Thinking this through, the logical next step in my progression is to do precisely that. To stop acting and thinking as a fat person, and more like a slim and healthy one.

This is where my weight management coaching skills really do come in handy! This week, as well as keeping up with exercising, and altering my eating habits, I am also going to work on looking, feeling, and behaving like the desired image I have of myself in my head.

Today I made a good first couple of steps. Carefully chose an outfit for work, instead of picking up the first things that came to hand, and even took the time to put a small amount of make up on, and tidied my hair (instead of just tying it up in a bun just to get it out of the way).

Now this all may seem like very basic stuff, but but taking a little extra time on myself like this is very symbolic for me. It sends the signals not only to myself, but to others, that I am worth it. I take care of myself, I respect myself, and I care about my health and appearance.

I discovered that by taking that extra time on myself this morning, meant I was indeed more confident throughout the day. I walked tall with my head held high! It's amazing what a little bit of foundation, eye liner and some lip gloss can do for a girls ego! :)

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Thirteen

Two days to go until weigh in, and have to say I am a little nervous. From this mornings results I doubt whether I will reach the 7lb goal, however, if I am sensible, there is no reason why I couldn't reach 6lbs - to be frank it fantastic anyway!

This week overall I have been quite proud of myself. I have continued to wake up at 6am, and all but 1 morning I have completed both a toning and an aerobic workout - although saying that, I've done toning exercises only so far this morning so after I have finished this I really have to get on that treadmill.

Despite changing my morning routine to include exercise, it is difficult to see at the moment what physical effect it has on my weight loss. I have begun to change my eating habits, and I know that this alone would have caused me to lose the amount of weight I have already done. Although I do realise that this is extremely early days, and with persistence, the results will become apparent.

That being said, I have noticed a rather obvious change in me emotionally. There are moments where I 'feel' less like a bowl of wobbly jelly, and more like a stick of celery (did you like the food reference there!). My moods have lightened and I'm generally feeling a slightly more happier and confident person.

If this is how I feel after almost a weeks worth of exercise and a little weight loss, imagine how I would feel when I do eventually reach my goal weight - imagine if I really did reach it by the cruise.....my goodness there really would be no stopping me!

So let's for a brief moment put my weight management coach head back on. Why wait to feel like that?

Being slim has more to do with state of mind than body fat. If you think and behave like a healthy person, your thoughts and actions will naturally follow suit, because this is what your mind is focusing on. If you think like a fat person, then a fat person you will be.

I've seen and experienced many times diet clubs / weight loss 'gurus' harping on about how it's important to visualise being at your goal weight.

Great! Well, I've seen myself at my goal weight for the past fifteen years or so, my image of what I'll look like, how I feel etc it's so crystal clear! And yet, here I am, still tackling this problem. Why?

Having a visual image, for me at least, is not enough. Mainly because deep down, perhaps I don't really believe I will ever attain that picture in my minds eye. Perhaps really I believe I am a resounding failure, doomed to spend my life 'trying' but not really trying to lose weight. Maybe I'm not meant to be happy and at my ideal weight......and that is a good demonstration of what I call my 'victim' voice. We all have one - it's that voice inside that says 'there is nothing we can do about it' (oh woe is me, why does this always happen to me, why can't I ever be happy / find the perfect partner / earn enough money etc etc). Pah!

Despite what miss victim voice thinks, in every situation you have the freedom of choice. Whether you believe it or not the only person in control of you is YOU. If you let your boss walk all over you - at the end of the day, you have chosen to put up with it - you don't like it, do something about it! Harsh? ah, but it's so true!!

So what choices does a girl like me have then?

I could have the state of mind that i am 'on a diet', put my life of hold until I've lost the weight, then magically everything is going to be alright. I will be slim, vibrant, and the happiest girl in the world. I will have an abundance of confidence and self belief, doors will be opened, and suddenly, the world has been filled with endless possibilities.

OR

I could believe, right now, that everything is going to be alright, of course I will be slim, but already I am vibrant and the happiest girl in the world. I already have an abundance of confidence and self belief. All doors are open and the world is just bursting with endless possibilities and opportunities.

And if you don't truly belive it yet? easy - blag it! It wont take long at all before you find yourself really believing, living and shaping your life the way that YOU want it to be.

Given the choice - which perspective would you rather take?

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twelve

Wow! what a difference a day makes! As mentioned yesterday, I completed my 'mood form' (not it's official name, it's a work in progress!), and I have to say, I did find that the dark cloud lifted slightly.

As the day progressed, I ate sensibly, eating treated myself to a couple of cups of coffee (this happens once maybe twice a year), and went to bed in a timely fashion.

Consequently I woke up this morning feeling refreshed, motivated and as determined as ever! Hurrah!!

You see, this is the effect that a weight management coach can have!

As seems to be the habit I had another 'unofficial' weigh in this morning, (I really must put those scales away until Monday), it would appear that another lb of flesh has somehow disintegrated from my body somewhere. Which makes so far this week a weight loss of 3lbs, and 5lbs since I first started twelve days ago. I think that is what you call slow but steady progress :)

Not only that, but I managed to wake up before the alarm, get my toning workout done with a couple of extra moves and incorporate a small amount of jogging into my treadmill exercise.

Very happy bunny - it just goes to show that life is really all about perspective. Yesterday glass was half glass; what do you mean I've 'only' lost 2lbs so far! Today my glass is positively over flowing!

Word of caution. I do realise that today is Friday, and that ahead of me are now three days where I could potentially undo all this hard work. Main aim of the game now is to keep this momentum and focus up until Monday.

One thing that is in the forefront of my mind, is that my other half has a busy weekend ahead of him, which consequently means I'll be spending quite a bit of the next two days on my own. As an emotional eater, it is usually at this time I take the opportunity to indulge in a little comfort eating, call it loneliness, boredum, or simply because I can be 'naughty' and nobody will know (except for the scales!).

So how do I get around this little obstacal? Well the logical thing would be to plan ahead what I will be doing over the next couple of days as a good distraction. As I do literally have about a millions things I could be doing, ranging from working on my own business, the garden, housework, baking, or enjoying other hobbies I enjoy such as singing, tapestry, watercolour, reading, taking the dog out for an explore etc - I really need to sit down and have a serious think about what I fancy doing this weekend.

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Eleven

Today I am feeling totally unmotivated. It started off by waking up at 6am, seeing that the alarm didn't go off and thinking 'ahh perhaps I forgot, cool I'll have a lay in' only for the alarm to go off two minutes later! bugga.

Ah well, so I got up, and before I started exercising I got onto the scales to see how I'm doing. Major mistake!

The scales tell me that I have in the past three days lost 2lbs. Instead of celebrating, I am feeling quite upset, disappointed, angry and unmotivated because what I wanted to see was three, not two! I know, what a half glass empty attitude.

So now I have unnecessarily put myself in this negative state, I began my toning workout - no problems there. However, when it came to the treadmill, I did two minutes, and just stopped. I really wasn't in the mood for it, so I recorded my YouTube video diary instead.

It's amazing how one single thing can have the domino effect. If I hadn't of got onto the scales, I probably wouldn't be feeling like a failure and be in this negative state etc. But hang on a minute, I've lost 2lbs in three days, surely that should be something to be pleased about for heavens sake!?

Part of being a Weight Management Coach is not only being able to be resourceful, but being fully prepared for any situation that could detract from the end goal.

Now I know from past experience that if I allow this 'mood' to continue for too long today, then I am likely to psychologically give up on myself, and resort back to old eating habits. That's what emotional eaters do, they give up, then console their lack of success with food - and lots of it!

Luckily I have devised a small form for just these occasions. Essentially it is designed to identify not only the mood, but the underlying problem that really caused it, and then try and workout not only how to get out of that state of mind, but to assist in recognising the mood in the future and either get out of it quicker, or more preferably, to avoid it altogether by nipping it in the bud.

Of course, it hasn't been physically tried and tested, so this morning before I do anything else, it would be a good idea to see if it actually works!

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Four

Yesterday I really amazed myself.

It started off with 32 minutes on the treadmill. Then I spend an hour in the front garden shovelling and sweeping shingle (which isn't easy as we have quite a bit I want moving!). Then the other half tells me we'll be having visitors in a couple of hours, so then next two hours were spent tidying, cleaning, and generally carrying all the bits and pieces that were being 'stored' in the living room, upstairs to their rightful places. After the guests had gone, I had tuna on toast for dinner, followed by a little sit down in front of the TV.

After the dog was taken for his evening constitution, I couldn't really settle. Tried to watch TV, but frankly there was nothing on worth watching so turned the box off and sat outside in the garden watching the chickens.

They weren't doing much, so then decided it'd be a good idea to have another go on the treadmill, for which I completed yet another 30 minutes!

After all that activity yesterday, I thought I would be quite achey this morning, but I'm not. Yes, I can feel my limbs quite lethargic, but I don't know if that is due to the time of the morning it is, or because of yesterday's exercises.

One saving grace is that at least I am not sore, or experienced and cramping yet!!

As for this mornings workout, I have completed my toning routine and without thinking did twice as many ab crunches than normal. My brain was off on other thoughts whilst doing the crunches and I forgot to stop!

No Cardio this morning, trying to give body at least a little bit of a chance to catch up. However I may do some tonight - see how it goes.

Food wise, lost slight control last night so now worried this is will affect my 7lbs weight loss goal for Saturday. Only time will tell on that one. I'll be a little disappointed if I do a video, and not record my weight as 7lbs lighter.

For the next 2 days, it's heads down and eye on the prize time.