Weigbht Loss Count Down - Day Two

Well, here we are, I have made it to day two! Yesterday was a bit crappy if I am totally honesty, although I think you could see that from yesterdays blog.

It didn't start well, and for various reasons didn't end well either. Bad mood for most of the day, managed to let off steam slightly at a practically all day marketing meeting, and then singing practice in the evening helped to ease things slightly too.

Food wise, haven't been too impressed with myself, I could have done better for a first day at least, however, I have logged all my food and drink intake on the video blog so at least I am actually be honest with myself (for once).

No change in weight this morning, although after yesterday I am not surprised, but at least it didn't go up. Again, I will weigh myself everyday and log the weight. If it goes up or down, I'll log it so I can get more aware of the consequences of my actions.

Woke up this morning with what only can be described as excruciating heartburn (at least that's what I think it was, I've never had it before, either that or it was the on comings of gallstones again, but I'm going to think of it as the former). Consequently this morning I am having some Andrews (an anti acid) to try and calm my insides down, and may have a few green alkalising drinks just to neutralise my body a bit.

Still on the look out for a coach, am starting to think that my heart really isn't in it, or maybe I am just being too picky. Am worried about the cost naturally, as this is an expensive time of year, need to at least email to make first contact with a few, check out prices at least.

Would be good to get a personal trainer again, but again alas, money will have to dictate otherwise. Until I can get my weight sorted and the coaching business off the ground riches are on hold, whilst rags seem to be the current trend in fashion.

Sorry, still not feeling 100% bright and bubbly this morning, but at least I'm not as doom and gloom as I was yesterday - which is what they call progress! So I'll just hang onto that thought :)

Weight Loss Result - Week 1

Last week I made a promise to myself - that for seven days I would get my head down and actually start losing weight and really see what I was capable of.

So every day I got my behind on the wii fit, and did between 20 - 30 minutes (almost) every day, a combination of yoga and just simply stepping up and down on the balance board for 10 minutes. The one day I didn't go on the wii, I was actually away at the in-laws, so instead took the dogs for a very nice long walk.

My diet has been a combination of food replacement bars & milkshakes, and small portioned dinners (by small I mean half the size I 'usually' have).

I haven't touched a packet of crisps, or drunk a single drop of alcohol (despite an over night stay at the in-laws which would normally mean plenty of both), and monitored quite closely what 'additional extras' I have with my food (i.e. table sauces, butter on bread etc).

So the result then - well, I am very pleased to report that this week I have lost a total of 7lbs!!!!!!! A definite whoop whoop me thinks!

Very pleased, and quite amazed that it didn't take as much effort on my part to achieve than previously perceived.

This week I will of course be following the same routine as I haven't felt deprived, or hungry at all. So fingers are well and truly crossed for another weight loss for next week! :D

Slimming World - Week Three

I have to say the past week has been one of my better weeks. Have been quite cheerie for the most part, and asides from a minor case of pigging out Saturday (due to not eating a thing until late afternoon / early evening), my diet has been not too bad. A moderate amount of 'naughty but nice' mixed in with a whole lot of 'nice but good'!

Also pleased to report that for the third week in a row have managed to keep up with exercising regularly, either by doing 1 / 2 30 minute sessions on the treadmill mixed in with a couple of nice long dog walks. Technically I should be on target for a bronze body magic award, but seeing as I keep forgetting to ask about who do I log the exercise with when I actually get to group I'm not sure I'll be allowed to back date (so to speak). Ah well, must remember to raise this question next week.

So results then, well coming away from last week, I really wanted to get slimmer of the week, but alas, stepping on the scales I had 'only' lost 2lbs. Don't get me wrong 2lbs is really good, and maybe last year in my old group that would have been more than enough to sail me through. Thing is we have a really good group at Tadley, a lot of women who really do want to lose weight, and it shows, the results from each person is truely amazing. This week lots of people had 2lb losses, a couple 3lbs, we even had 2 5lb losses!! One lady had been there about 16 weeks and STILL managed to lose 5lbs! Totally awe inspiring. Just goes to show that dedication and focus really can pay off - this particalar lady has been slimmer of the week about 6 times since she started and slimmer of the month twice. Wow!! This group certainly isn't short of role models that's for sure!!

So getting back to my own success! 2lbs this week I am really happy with, particularly as it was pointed out that in just 3 weeks I have lost 9lbs!! crikey!! I thought I was feeling a little 'lighter'! I don't mind it being slow and steady, I'm finding that the pleasure in actually eating is slowly coming back and I'm losing weight to boot! whoop whoop!

Not only that, but this morning I decided to be a little brave and try on an old pair of jeans. When I lost the weight last year, these jeans were getting stupidly baggy on my. I then ate for the United Kingdom, gained all that weight back on, and low and behold those jeans went from being really baggy, to not even being able to get them over my rear end!

So this morning then! I tried these jeans on and am really pleased (or relieved!) to report that not only can I get them on I can do them up too! Ok so they are a tad on the tight side, so will need to wait until I have lost a couple more lbs before I wear them properly, but it's a really good start! I am so pleased at the progress I am making! more whoop whoop!!

As you can tell, everything so far is going swimmingly and I really do feel on cloud nine at the moment!

xx

Weight Loss Diary - 6th Sept 2010

Did I ever tell you how much I am loving life at the moment? Oh I did? Ok stuck record alert!

So yesterday then, can definitely say yesterday was fabulous! Firstly, other half was out selling himself at a wedding fair for most of it. Usually when he's out, that's my subconscious cue to eat like a pig and over stuff myself. Ah ha! but not this day! For breakfast I indulged myself and had cheese on toast. That's 1 slice of bread, 3 very thin slices of cheese, and nada else. I enjoyed every single scrummy bite, and about half way through I started to feel full, so put my knife & fork down and stopped.

Yes it taunted me, 'ah go on, just one more bite, you know you really want to'. But actually no I didn't, I listened to my body, and ignored that silly little voice inside my head that always wants more. To ensure I didn't get tempted into finishing it off I quickly put the rest of the toast in the bin - I didn't fancy eating cold cheese on toast later in the day! :P

What a buzz! Sounds daft that, getting a buzz from knowing when your body has had enough, and simply listening to it, and stopping.

In other news, yesterday I also started to go through my pc and have had a bit of a clear out. Bit random? no, still on topic I promise!!

You see, on my pc, I have created for myself so many diets, weight loss thermometers, weight loss records, and excel spreadsheets working out if I lost so many pounds then I'd reach my goal weight by such and such a date. I literally did a day by day weight loss forecast. These have all been deleted, and my goodness, not only did it feel weird doing so, it felt quite therapeutic!

Like I said before DOWN WITH DIETS!! ah ha! To follow through on that philosophy I get to free up quite a lot of computer disk space!! (as well as head space). So what was for dinner? Steak and chips ta! Served on a tea plate so yes it was a much smaller portion that I'd usually have, and yes I ate every last bite - and yes I kept double checking with my body to see when I was getting full. It was just by luck I think that the portion size I gave myself was just enough to satisfy the physical hunger.......Score!!!

This morning I will admit, a tiny part of me wants to hop onto the scales, I mean it's been three days now since I freed myself from the evil that is fad dieting! Thankfully that little voice was silenced almost as soon as it was raised. Tut tut little voice you should really know better than to interfere like that!

I can tell you now that the part of me with 'the little voice' is actually curious to see whether this new way of doing things will work, and in the very back of my mind probably thinks this is just another 'fad' and I'll end up my biggest yet.

However, the more dominant 'voice' (let's call it my inner coach), is somehow able to scream over little voice, and know jolly well that if I carry on the way I am doing, then not only will I be happy, and living life as full as I want it to be, but I'll also be losing weight and WILL reach that healthy weight / body shape that is right for me. In fact the coach voice is so strong inside my head, I have little choice but to listen and believe it!! And I can't even describe how good that feels, how good that makes ME feel about myself.

I think success is quite addictive, although to be perfect honest I'd rather have that as an addiction than getting on the scales every single day and getting depressed because the magic weight loss fairy has yet again failed to make me 9 stone over night.

So how do we start experiencing success? Well you have to start somewhere, so why not start by doing something small.

I challenge you today to seek out success, no matter how small. You've been putting off doing the ironing, but you've got off your bum and finished it - SUCCESS! You ate two slices of toast for breakfast instead of the usual three or four - SUCCESS!! You decided you would by pass the bakery and not have your usual mid morning sausage roll / cake / packet of crisps etc - SUCCESS!!! (one less spoon of sugar in your tea, making that phone call or sending that email you've been meaning to, paying that outstanding bill, turning off the TV and doing something else with your spare time this evening - all adds up to success!! BUT it HAS to be what YOU really want and what is relevant for YOU!(and not because someone else said that you 'had to'))

It doesn't matter how small it may feel at the time, if you have been able to do something that you have either been putting off, didn't think you had the will power, or just something you don't usually do but have now done - mark it up on the chalk board and give yourself a well deserved pat on the back for a job very well done!

There is another part of this challenge - once you have achieved that first success, don't brush it under the carpet. You have GOT to take a step back, and really appreciate what it is you have done - even if it's 'only' getting the vacuum out and vacuuming the carpet! The point is that this is YOUR achievement, YOUR success and you should not only feel proud of yourself for achieving it, but you ARE ALLOWED to bathe in the shiny glory that is your brilliance!

Because believe it or not, you are brilliant - you just may not have realised yet.

So go on - how are you going to be brilliant and achieve your own success today?

x-x-x

Weight Loss Challenge - Final Review

I will warn you up front this will be one of my longest blogs yet!

Almost 40 days ago now I began my weight loss journey. As far as weight loss is concerned, I've lost half a stone, and I can say hand on heart I look no different. To me half a stone is just a drop in the ocean. Yes it's a start, not a very good one, but a start none the less. In that time I would have liked to have at least doubled that figure, but I didn't, and despite this, the challenge did achieve a necessary change!

When looking back at myself at the beginning of the challenge, on a psychological level I am looking at a completely different person. I see a person with numerous emotional and psychological ties that each in turn took a chunk out of my own personal happiness and overall well being.

Where these ties came from, well some I have my suspicions, some I'm sure if I sat and dwelled long enough I'd discover a deep and meaningful under lying cause and some I'm sure have no base in reality what-so-ever. Who knows, but more importantly, who cares!

Beware the ties that bind - for these are the restrictions you place upon yourself. Hang on a mo, I'll fetch the scissors.

So there I was back then, hating myself, hating the scales, hating food, and generally dissatisfied with life. Now there's a pretty picture ain't it!

I knew, as I still know now, my desired end result, not just with weight loss, but in life, career, home etc. The problem is knowing the destination is simply not good enough, even thinking you know how you're going to achieve your goals isn't enough. If you don't release that which is really tieing you down, even though you may think you're moving in the right direction, you're not.

I thought I had the answer. I was going to lose 1 lb every day, reach my goal weight quickly and be happy ever after. I was going to achieve this by restricting my calorie intake and exercising like there was no tomorrow. Before you all start tutting or shouting at me, I want you to note the over use of 'past tense' in the paragraph.

Good in theory? well no, but I thought it was. So on day one, I stepped on the scales, 2lbs off - great! Day two, I stepped on the scales, 1 lb off - still great! Day three, I stepped on the scales, another 1 lb off - this is going so well. Day three - um, so hungry I end up eating that blasted horse, now hung up on the fact that I've just undone the past three days. Day four, I stepped on the scales - oh bugga, I have. Feel really depressed and like a complete failure. Vow to do another week of the above before I step back on the scales. And so we go on. This is literally the rut I had gotten myself in.

Weighing yourself every single day, no matter how you try and dress it up, is an unhealthy obsession. It's an addiction, pure and simple.

So when Paul McKenna suggests as part of his I can make you thin plan, that maybe you only weigh yourself once every two weeks, or even just once a month, well in theory I could see the logic. But getting off those scales were really hard!! I had a real battle with myself, and in the beginning I'd justify to myself that I was having 'just a quick check' on my weight loss progress. So what happens, when the scales didn't move, or it went up (because I wasn't actually following the plan and reverted back to old habits), I'd get disheartened, feel like a failure and vow to do better. Which let's be honest, I never did.

I took some much needed time out this morning to reflect on my life and I suppose if I had made any headway what-so-ever.

Actually, when looking at where I am as opposed to where I was:

- I'm more aware of the feeling of actual hunger, and can recognise when the hunger is physical or emotional.
- I'm learning to accept that actually, I'm not so bad after all
- I've banished the scales. I don't need them right now, and I have no desire to continue to be dictated to by the results they show.
- I'm learning more about the correct portion sizes for me, and accept that smaller portions are not only fine, but normal!

Frankly this list could go on for quite a bit! But the most important revelation of all is that I will NEVER touch another so called 'diet' ever again!

I'm listening very carefully to what my body needs, and what it doesn't need is another 'crash diet'. It doesn't need to be told that it can only have liquids, or a combination of liquids and so called 'meals'. It doesn't need to be told that it can only eat certain foods on certain days, or count calories or 'points' or fat content or weigh and measure every thing!

My father once said to me 'everything in moderation', and you know, I never really appreciated this little saying - until now.

Beware the ties that bind - my true ties were feeling as if I had to 'diet' and constantly weigh myself in order to gain acceptance in the world.

Well I will tell you right now - NOT ANY MORE!!! My body knows what it wants, and you know what, I'm jolly well going to work WITH it and give it exactly what it wants, instead of working against it and trying to starve or restrict the energy it needs to live.

Don't think for one minute I have completely potty and am on the road for gaining a million pounds in weight and become Britain's fattest female! Oh no, on the contrary, I have every intention of only eating when I'm hungry, stopping when I'm full even (gasp!) throwing away food I can't eat, or at least storing the left overs until such a time my body is physically hungry again.

My future is bright. My future is very shiny. My future involves reaching a healthy weight which is perfect for me. My future is freedom from those negative ties, freedom from diets, freedom from constantly weighing myself and obsessing that I 'Should' be this weight by this date.

I am putting my 'weight loss challenge' to bed now, once and for all. I'm not going to stop blogging by any stretch of the imagination, I enjoy it! so why stop!!?

And yes, I'll still report on my weight loss, and share, perhaps in more detail, all the things I'm learning and experiencing along the way.

Today I have realised that without all these binds, my future has suddenly become so squeezabley good! It's crazy but all this weight has been lifted completely from my shoulders!

I've got my zest for life back - and frankly I'm now just itching to go out and just live!

x-x-x

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Thirty Five

Another August Bank Holiday has come and gone, and yet another excuse to pig out and drink to high heaven all for the sake of a good time...... Or so you would have thought.

'Routine' was totally thrown out of the window with gay abandon, no CD, no (not so yet) friendly mirror, no consciously eating, no exercise and yes alcohol was involved every single day.

Sounds like I completely lost control of my senses doesn't it? And yet upon creeping onto those nasty scales hidden behind the TV just to 'check' the damage. Nothing. No change. They neither went up or down from the last time I hopped on. I'm still 6lbs down from starting weight!

How in the heck did I get away with it then!!? In order to see where it could have gone wrong, and didn't - Let's look at the evidence:

Saturday: Spent 4 hours doing garden things - mainly laying turf and digging flowers in my freshly dug boarder (looking fab!!). Had a chip butty for lunch (I don't think I have ever had a chip butty in my life, but just fancied one!). No butter on the bread, and the chips were dried cooked in the oven. After a nice relaxing soak in the bath, had a late dinner which consisted of a small minted lamb steak and roast potatoes (obviously craved the carbs that day), and a couple of glasses of whiskey and ginger ale

Sunday: Day at my mothers, who did the usual large array of food items for lunch - choice on the menu, marinated chicken, 2 lots of pork (medallions, and some flavoured variety), sausages (yes I know that's pork too!) potatoes, veg, etc etc. Before commencing the 'help yourself' buffet, I changed the size of my plate from the large dinner plate, to a large tea plate. I had 1 sausage, 1 pork thing and a spoonful of potatoes. My thinking was I'll have a small amount first, and if I was still hungry afterwards I'd go back for seconds. Had 1 glass of red wine with dinner, followed by about three glasses of water (not intentional, just after the wine and the pork just 'felt' like I needed water.

In the end, no I didn't have seconds. I didn't even feel like pudding either as I was full enough! For supper, again the usual buffet spread of cheese, ham, chicken, crisps, bread etc was offered. I chose a small bun first, cut a slice of cheese, then spilt that in half and put it on the bread (no butter). Also had a packet of crisps and a glass of red wine. When I finished the supper, I fancied some more, so had another small roll, but this time had a slice of ham cut into 2 and half the ham on each half of bread. Was quite full after that!!

Monday: second day of visiting, but this time other halfs side. Picked up his nan first, where we stopped for a cup of tea (1 sugar only, usually have 2), and a slice of batten burg. Made our way over to his mothers, dinner consisted of steamed carrots, green beans, potatoes, and 2 grilled pork. Ok, so I could have done without the 2nd piece of pork, but this is mother-in-laws for goodness sake! haven't quite worked out how to reduce portion sizes over there yet. Oh, and we had a small Gin & Tonic with dinner. For pudding, we had an oyster shell!! (oyster shell shaped wafer, end dipped in chocolate and coconut, inside was a little marsh mellow, you basically open it up, add a little ice cream, close it back up again and eat - a weekend full of firsts for me!).

For supper, mother-in-law also did a buffet 'help yourself' spread. Was a bit sneaky here, took 1 slice of bread, cut it into 4 slices so make essentially what was half a sandwich. Gave into temptation and had a another slice of bread and did the same thing. So what was that, basically a sandwich then! (again no butter). For pudding we had a Victoria sponge. Now I was again a little sneaky here, the way his dad managed to cut it meant there was one piece far smaller than the other three, so I grabbed that one up quick!

This may not make too much sense, but even though I had a devil may care attitude over my eating habits the pass few days, I was still unconsciously very much in control (so it would seem!!). I have navigated my way around this bank holiday and come out the other end victorious!!

Now I can get back on track (so to speak). Focus today is to get back on the treadmill, back in front of the mirror and back listening to the CD. According to the success journal I have a weigh in at the end of the week, and you know what, I know for a fact I'll be over that half a stone mark, that's just a foregone conclusion. What I'm interested in now is just how close to the stone mark I can make it? ooooooo exciting stuff!! :D

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twenty Nine

And when they were up they jolly well stayed up! Very pleased to report normal services have been resumed and focus is right back where it should be......um, that'll be me, bikini & holiday then!! (or at least a posh frock and feeling fabulous)

Yesterday, I drank plenty of water, didn't feel bloated after eating, and even managed to burn off some vital calories whilst spending 2 hours sorting out the front garden. Fresh air and exercise, there really isn't anything like it!

'Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't shoot their husbands.....they just don't' - Elle Woods, Legally Blond.

They also don't shout at their dogs when they decide to 'christen' freshly raked soil, their partners for not telling you they've already eaten, when you specifically told them that you would cook dinner ready for when they got home from work, or turn the air blue when there is a village power cut, causing your laptop to crash and undoing a lot of hard work and effort!

Exercise is a great stress reliever, and really does help you to overcome lifes minor (or major) irritations with poise and dignity!

This morning I spent another hour outside, but this time tidying a little of the back garden (I really do love in the week days off, they're so productive!!). My intention is to resume back garden activities when the rain has stopped - I've not got much more to do in the small corner I was tidying, so am keen to get back out there, get it finished, and be smug that it was a good job well done! Although admittedly the rain doesn't look like it's stopping any time soon - hey ho, that's British weather for you!

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twenty Five

I think I'll begin this morning by saying that the scales have now been put behind the TV! Obsession wise, I was fine until I woke up this morning, then I had an argument in my head about should I shouldn't I, and eventually the 'ah go on just a peak' won. Not a happy bunny in that respect so have put the blasted thing out of sight and hopefully out of mind.

I should point out though that today is day four of PM's programme, and the scales this morning show that I have lost a total of 5lbs. Bugga me! What gets me is that I haven't been starving myself, when I've felt (or thought I felt) hungry I ate what I fancied and to top it all off, I haven't actually managed to get back to my exercise routine yet (which I will kick start again this morning).

The problem I am having at the moment is that I can't quite get my head around the fact that my current eating habits are showing so far the easiest weight loss results in my life! I'm not 'on a diet', and yet it appears I've lost 5lbs in 4 days. Very weird.

So what did I do yesterday? Well for starters, I kept a bottle of water with me at all times which I drank from regularly throughout the day. I made a conscious effort to ask myself 'where am I on the hunger scale', and when I thought I was in the 'hungry zone' I ate. I chewed each mouthful slowly, put knife and fork down in between bites, and stopped when I felt comfortably full - throwing out what I couldn't eat, and only feeling a tiny bit guilty about it!

I also listened to PM's CD (twice!) to try and reinforce these habits and keep on the wagon so to speak. Both times I will fully admit to actually drifting off, so I still have no idea what he's saying!

All in all, I am really pleased at how yesterday went, despite not getting around to doing the mirror thing which I will have a go at after I've done my exercises. At least way i can say I've started doing it and can tick it off the list!!

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twenty Four

When I said I wasn't a slave to the scales any more, I lied! Oops! Maybe it was because I didn't listen to PM's CD yesterday, maybe my 'craving' to hop onto the scales is too great. Whatever you call it, this morning I could resist them no longer I had to just very quickly have a preview as to how I'm doing. After all, this morning I don't feel any different, and couldn't believe that what I had been doing over the past couple of days had made any difference what so ever.

So the results? Well I had to do a double take as the scales have shown me to be 3lbs lighter than when I started PM's programme! Great result, so maybe this thing does work after all!?

One thing is for sure, I know I have an unhealthy obsession with the scales, which must STOP. After all, I really enjoyed the mental freedom from thinking scales? PAH! don't need them every day, I'm fine as I am thank you very much!

I don't know what changed in my psychology this morning. But, what I do know is that PM has provided a couple of techniques in his book regarding cravings, and despite this being more directed at certain foods, I think it's about time I gave it a bash for the scales, hey it's a craving right!?

The other thing I am determined to crack today is no longer being part of the 'clean plate club'. Whether I can detect whether I am full whilst eating or not, I am determined to leave something at every meal, even if it's only a mouthful. Why? apparently it helps you to keep in control of your food, and not the other way around. I can see the theory behind this, but unfortunately I am still well and truly part of 'the club', and very aware that leaving things on the plate will be frowned upon.

Hey ho, for these occasions I must keep telling myself 'I'd rather be slim and in control, than a fat person with a clear plate'.

Priorities for tonight really have to be to listen to the CD, and try out the mirror test (which I haven't even looked at yet and basically involves lots of looking at yourself in the mirror (funny that!)trying to connect with the slimmer you, and produce feelings of love and well being (or something)).

Any how, it's on my list of things to tick off in the 90 day journal, so I really should give it a go.

Right, it's almost time I should be making a move, busy day at work calls so let's just get it over and done with and so I can get onto the fun stuff! (you know, ironing, housework, cooking the fellas tea, you know, the really fun stuff! tee hee).

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twenty Three

Yesterday I completed my first successful day of Paul McKenna's I can make you thin programme.

I was a little apprehensive as we had my other halfs family over for a BBQ, and I was adamant that this would not cause me to fall 'off the wagon'. Before deciding to commit to this programme, I had originally planned to not eat anything at all, as I have in the past over indulged when presented with lovely BBQ food!

However, according to the golden rules of this plan: 'when you're hungry EAT'. 'Eat what you like so long as you are hungry', 'when you're full, STOP eating' (I'm paraphrasing slightly here, but you get the gist). So with this at the forefront of my mind, I decided that I wanted to have some BBQ food, but I would chew slowly, and stop eating when satisfied.

Amazingly it more or less worked! Essentially I had a burger in a bun and a sausage in a roll. That's it. On the negative side, I could have easily stopped at just the burger, but felt as though I 'should' have the sausage as well so I ate it, it was nice, but I didn't get real enjoyment from doing so.

On the positive side, after eating the sausage in a roll, I didn't feel horrible & bloated, I just felt 'full', and when the chicken came out I didn't think twice about refusing. After the BBQ everyone had chocolate ice cream, everyone apart from me! I didn't fancy it, I was full enough! Instead I busied myself tidying the kitchen (ok not very social, but at least I didn't have to look at everyone eating icecream).

The other great thing is that I didn't feel for a single second that I was 'missing out' on anything, I ate what I felt I wanted and needed, and then simply stopped. That was quite a liberating experience!

What I found slightly difficult yesterday, and what I am trying to practice today, is actually gauging my hunger levels. This may sound odd, but I have spent my whole life either in starvation of completely bloated / over filled with food, so the real hunger signals my body tries to send me are a little feint right now! But that's ok, with practice I am sure I'll get better at this! But like PM has suggested, in these early stages if you don't know you are hungry, guess! If you have two mouthfuls and then find you are full, just stop.

So for now, I am going to follow this philosophy :)

Another thing worthy of note yesterday was that my other half asked whether I was 'on target' for the holiday. My response? I have no idea! This caused him a little concern as it gave him the impression that I had fallen off the wagon and had my head in the sand. But really nothing was further from the truth! Following PMs plan means I have to give the scales a wide berth for a while. By doing this I really have no idea how my actual weight loss is going (but please, it's only been 1 day give me a break!!).

Usually I measure my weight loss success by the scales alone. But with them out the picture how else do I do it? Simple answer is, I don't. I just crack on with life and in 30 days, then we'll see how successful I am.

For the first time in my life, I feel like these chains have been cut. I don't feel right now that I am a slave to the scales, and I feel so much happier and 'lighter' for it!

Weight Loss Challenge - Week Three

Last week was a major set back. Illness, no exercise, and eating habits going back to almost what they were.

Cruise is just over two months away and I am scared senseless. If I had started on January 1st to eat and exercise sensibly (as was the intention), I would have reached my goal weight by now. Instead, I am right back to where I started from, with the possibility of a dream not quite turning out how I would love it to be.

And who is to blame? Only myself.

So what's the plan this week then. Well, for starters I am going to make real efforts to stick to slimfast plan for breakfast and lunch, and have a weight watchers meal for dinner, combining at least 2 litres of water and as much exercise as I can stand.

The crazy thing is, working out the figures, if I lost 2lbs per day I'd still reach my goal weight well in time. So technically it's still possible.

I say technically, because to lose that amount of weight in such a short space of time isn't healthy. I'm not going to kid anyone here, it's not.

BUT, I've personally come to breaking point with my weight. I am so sick and tired of it just being there I just want rid of it once and for all.

Mood this morning - Frustrated! Yet strangley hopeful, determined, and if I'm honest a little headchey. Now I know that isn't technically a mood, I'm just throwing it out there.

Ok, back to being sensible, this week I wont blog every single day. Instead I'll do a weekly weigh in / weekly review blog instead for the time being, as I really feel I need to concentrate on my actions outside of this computer!

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Fourteen

Official weigh in this morning - this week I have lost the grand total of 1lb. Naturally I don't actually mean the word grand, pathetic might be more appropriate. And the reason? well I suspect it may have something to do with three days of stupid indulgence. Never mind, onwards and upwards!

After I had gotten over the shock of this mornings failings, I sat down and had a little think about things.

I am very proud of myself for managing to get up at 6am almost every morning and exercise. As I have said before, emotionally, I really do feel the benefits of a regular workout, so this is something I will take forward with me into this new up and coming week.

Diet / food wise - not so proud. Hand on heart, my eating habits have a changed very slightly, but no where near to the level as I want it to be. This has got to be one of my main focuses this week.

To help myself out in this area, I have decided to do a combination of slimfast (shakes & bars) for breakfast & lunch, and a weight watchers meal (soup or microwave meal) for dinner. I need to learn portion sizes, and I believe that sticking to this plan will help re-educate my brain as to what portion sizes are acceptable to a person of a size I am striving to be.

In my last post, I talked about behaving like the person you want to be now, and not wait until you have experiences your desired weight loss. Thinking this through, the logical next step in my progression is to do precisely that. To stop acting and thinking as a fat person, and more like a slim and healthy one.

This is where my weight management coaching skills really do come in handy! This week, as well as keeping up with exercising, and altering my eating habits, I am also going to work on looking, feeling, and behaving like the desired image I have of myself in my head.

Today I made a good first couple of steps. Carefully chose an outfit for work, instead of picking up the first things that came to hand, and even took the time to put a small amount of make up on, and tidied my hair (instead of just tying it up in a bun just to get it out of the way).

Now this all may seem like very basic stuff, but but taking a little extra time on myself like this is very symbolic for me. It sends the signals not only to myself, but to others, that I am worth it. I take care of myself, I respect myself, and I care about my health and appearance.

I discovered that by taking that extra time on myself this morning, meant I was indeed more confident throughout the day. I walked tall with my head held high! It's amazing what a little bit of foundation, eye liner and some lip gloss can do for a girls ego! :)

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Six

Ok, so I gave in, I actually did get on the scales. On the bright side, I have lost 2lbs since last week, on the down side it isn't nearly enough as I wanted!!

So what went wrong this week? frankly most things. To be perfectly blunt, the only think I did differently this week was getting up early and exercising. Now don't get me wrong, that is a fantastic start. BUT I still drank alcohol, still ate bread & cheese & all those other things I knew would do me no good.

The thing I am most disappointed in myself about though is that I do actually my own seven day plan - I just didn't follow it this week, and the whole point really was to follow it to the letter, and see what results I got.

In the front of my mind, I know that the cruise is not very far away, so I really do need rapid results if I am going to have any hope in hell's chance of spending my holiday of a lifetime in a body that I have worked hard to get!

Oi vey! Right, that's it. Today I will be printing off this plan and keeping it with me at all times as a constant reminder to follow it!!

Seriously, there is no reason why I couldn't be losing 7lbs this week.

I will continue to write blog daily, and now next Saturday I will weight myself again and hopefully report that all important first 7lb loss.

General Review

I promised myself that I would (or rather should) be waiting until Monday before getting onto the scales to view my progress. However, after waking up from a dream last night where I was actually weighing myself, I am afraid to say I went into automatic pilot and hopped onto the scales.

The results were, in all honesty, a little bit of a shock. Long story short, I have lost 8lbs, and I still have 4 days to go before 'official' weigh in. Jeepers Creepers!

It's funny because if truth be told, I wouldn't say that I was 'on a diet'. What I would say is that I am fully embracing changing my old eating habits, and learning new healthier ones. I am psychologically conditioning myself to listen to my body, to know when it's full, to not be afraid to leave things on my plate!

I've been telling myself since Day One that I am getting slimmer and leaner, and yesterday, looking in the mirror, I actually started to believe it. Not drastically, but enough to confirm to me that what I am doing is absolutely right for me.

Believe me, when you are at a size I am, looking in the mirror at an 'all of a sudden' slightly lighter you, boy there isn't a feeling on this plant that could match it! there really isn't! I do chuckle at myself, if I am like this now, imagine what I am going to be like when I have lost ALL my excess weight!!

I remember last year when I was on Slimming World, and was having similar success. I remember that things were starting to become 'bigger' as I was getting smaller. The bathtub, sofas, car seats, my knickers! Although I never did come close to my goal weight, I did however feel leaner, more like a stick insect, less like a weeble (is the only way I can think of to describe it!)

I've longed for months to get 'that feeling' back, and not feel so bloated and rotund. The great thing is at the moment I can actually feel each pound as it drops, and even though I am not there yet, I am already looking into the future. I'm looking forward to getting back into my cute colourful knickers, as opposed to the monstrosities that I 'have' to wear at the moment (which this morning seem to be coming more and more up my waist! hurrah!!). I'm looking forward to getting back into more summary clothes, and being able to actually wear my entire wardrobe, not just the 'fat' parts of it!

I'm starting to really look forward to the cruise again. Yesterday I went online and went window shopping for evening gowns and cocktail dresses, because yes, suddenly the possibilities of me actually wearing garments so stunning has suddenly increased ten fold! Amazing!

If you are sitting there saying to yourself, hang on a minute steady on there girl you've only lost 8lbs, I think you are getting carried away with yourself! My response would be stop being so British! When you get success, no matter how big or small, you enjoy it for all it's worth! Why can't you enjoy it? For me, I am enjoying 'the process. By actually seeing the results I am wanting, it's making me not only jump up and down at my success, but also it's increasing my enjoyment of the whole process!

Because my enjoyment of the process is getting stronger, and I am certain that by continuing along this path I will see the results I am looking for, I KNOW that in four months time there will be no other outcome than that of me being my goal weight, and wearing those evening gowns, cocktail dresses and bikinis.

Now that really is something worth smiling about :D