Morning peeps! Well it's Monday, and we have yet another gorgeous morning this morning!!
After having a couple of weeks 'off' from all things routine, I've been simply itching to set myself a 30 day challenge! In keeping with my down with diets attitude, this challenge isn't about 'keeping to a restricted diet and exercise routine', yes exercise is involved, and yes I have written out my 'menu' for the week, but NO I'm not on a diet - still with me here??!
I'll let you in on a little secret, I have a passion for rural Victorian life, more specifically from the middle class farmers wife / female perspective. I don't know where it has come from, but I am simply fascinated by it, and have been inspired myself to adopt a more back to basics lifestyle.
I am at present researching for a book I am intending to write: 'Modern Day Victorian Living' (or something like that!). Using the rural Victorian as a template, I shall not only attempt to bring back past values / crafts / routines etc but more importantly make those values & routines etc relevant for today. Big example of this would be washing day - back then it took them four days to wash / dry & iron clothes by hand. Today we put it in the washing machine which is much easier! (so naturally I wont be dismissing modern technology just for the sake of it, just using it when and where it has it's place).
After a small amount of research, I have an idea on the farmers wife very basic weekly Mon - Sat routine, with Sunday of course being God's day and naturally a day of rest (sounds good to me!!), which mainly dealt with the household chores, baking days (I really looking forward to those already!!) and market day (for me, that involves sitting at the computer and ordering from Tesco's tee hee). In addition to the standard household chores, I have also given myself set exercises to do every day, and have set out what I'll be eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
With the latter, again please don't confuse this as a diet, just because I have set out a meal plan. The plan is based around what I currently have in the cupboards, and enjoy eating! I'm using current stocks up before buying more in - saves on the waste that way!
And yes, as far as the food is concerned, with the exception of Breakfast, I will still be following Paul Mckenna's Principles of only eating when I'm hungry.
Breakfast is the exception because I have never really eaten breakfast - if I do eat, it's more of a Brunch thing. So this time at the very least I will eat Breakfast every day without waiting to gauge whether I'm hungry or not - and yes, I will stop once I am full.
So yesterday, I sat down and wrote out my jobs to complete list for each day, every day encompassing toning and treadmill exercise, 3 meals, and my chores list for today. Sounds tiresome? Well today is washing day, and what that mean? well, putting all the laundry in the washing machine and switching it on - oh yes I can see how that could be irksome!!?
So, getting to the actual 'challenge'.
This morning, I weighed out 1oz of porridge, made with milk and sugar sprinkled on top, accompanied by a glass of water, which although was very tasty, unbelievably (or not) I've had about 3 teaspoonfuls and am feeling quite stuffed! I'm not even sure I've eaten half of it! Like I said, my body isn't used to eating breakfast, next time I do porridge I'll put a little less in and see what happens.
I've also sorted out the chickens, taken meat out to defrost for tonight's dinner, completed my toning exercises and made the fella his morning cup of tea in bed whilst sorting out my own breakfast, and no, I didn't get up at 6am either!
As is normally the case, day one is so far going swimmingly, but then again let's be realistic - I've only just begun, let's see where I am in 30 days time :D
Monday 20 September 2010
Wednesday 15 September 2010
There is no wagon
You hear people falling off of, and then getting back on 'the wagon' a lot in weight loss. When a person has a good day, they see themselves as 'on the wagon' - and this is a good thing. When they have a bad day, they think of themselves as falling 'off' the wagon - a bad thing - and strive to get back 'on' as soon as possible.
But let's just stop and think about this for a moment.
Did you know that originally, the phrase 'to fall off the wagon' actually was in connection to people struggling to combat a drug or alcohol addiction? And that to fall off said wagon meant that they had failed to keep their resolution to remain sober / drug free.
If this is the case, why on earth have we, the over weight, adopted this phrase as our own, and used it to monitor our own supposed failings?!!?
Let's picture a moment your own weight loss journey adopting this approach. Every time you make a slip up, no matter how small, you fall off the wagon, climb back on and roll down the same path.
You eventually reach your goal weight - but you've fallen off the damn wagon so many times you're black and blue! Your bum hurts, you've got broken bones, a bump on your head, and all you can remember about the journey is the pain you have suffered to get here - which makes you what? a martyr? Oh poor you, it's been a real 'struggle' a real 'hardship' but like a real trouper you got there 'in the end'.
Where did your life go whilst you were losing that weight? Oh, no, sorry, forgot, your fat, and you have to punish yourself day in day out until you reach your 'magical goal weight' then all of a sudden life will be brilliant!
Have you ever thought what if there was no wagon to fall off of in the first place? Have you ever thought about what if you took that wagon and set fire to it? Then what? well instead of using the wagon, you'll have to begin your journey by actually walking.
Let's take a moment to imagine the journey to your goal weight, minus the aforementioned wagon - just for a moment.
So here you are walking along, you slip up on a large pebble. Well you haven't fallen over or broken anything, and you can either choose to carry on as you were, or make a slight adjustment to watch out for and avoid those large pebbles! By walking to your destination you can take in and experience so much more of what is going on around. You can take your time, go at your own pace, and focus on enjoying the journey.
As opposed to what? sitting on the back of a cart, and only focusing on not falling off?
By taking the wagon, you are giving somebody else the responsibility of your weight loss. Yes you'll probably get there in the end, but not only do you miss out on life, but you fail to learn along the way - well, apart from the fact that the journey is quite painful so therefore may not actually stick with the wagon for any great deal of time anyway.
Taking responsibility for your own weight loss, and ultimately your own journey to get there is initially more difficult as you really do have to keep your focus on the goal.
You will have to keep your wits about you, and now allow yourself to become distracted by dark looking 'diversions' that will purposefully lead you away from your goal.
By walking your own path, you become an adventurer in your own adventure story! You meet many along the way, some who assist, some who do not. But the further along the path you go, the more you learn, the stronger you become, and you are able to easily recognise friend from foe and deal with each one appropriately.
Ultimately your fate is in your own hands. It's up to you when you want to start living and loving life.
Of course you can wait indefinitely until such a time when you do reach your magic number - that's your choice. Some say life begins at 40, others say life begins when you reach your goal weight.
Personally I say life begins right NOW.
x-x-x
But let's just stop and think about this for a moment.
Did you know that originally, the phrase 'to fall off the wagon' actually was in connection to people struggling to combat a drug or alcohol addiction? And that to fall off said wagon meant that they had failed to keep their resolution to remain sober / drug free.
If this is the case, why on earth have we, the over weight, adopted this phrase as our own, and used it to monitor our own supposed failings?!!?
Let's picture a moment your own weight loss journey adopting this approach. Every time you make a slip up, no matter how small, you fall off the wagon, climb back on and roll down the same path.
You eventually reach your goal weight - but you've fallen off the damn wagon so many times you're black and blue! Your bum hurts, you've got broken bones, a bump on your head, and all you can remember about the journey is the pain you have suffered to get here - which makes you what? a martyr? Oh poor you, it's been a real 'struggle' a real 'hardship' but like a real trouper you got there 'in the end'.
Where did your life go whilst you were losing that weight? Oh, no, sorry, forgot, your fat, and you have to punish yourself day in day out until you reach your 'magical goal weight' then all of a sudden life will be brilliant!
Have you ever thought what if there was no wagon to fall off of in the first place? Have you ever thought about what if you took that wagon and set fire to it? Then what? well instead of using the wagon, you'll have to begin your journey by actually walking.
Let's take a moment to imagine the journey to your goal weight, minus the aforementioned wagon - just for a moment.
So here you are walking along, you slip up on a large pebble. Well you haven't fallen over or broken anything, and you can either choose to carry on as you were, or make a slight adjustment to watch out for and avoid those large pebbles! By walking to your destination you can take in and experience so much more of what is going on around. You can take your time, go at your own pace, and focus on enjoying the journey.
As opposed to what? sitting on the back of a cart, and only focusing on not falling off?
By taking the wagon, you are giving somebody else the responsibility of your weight loss. Yes you'll probably get there in the end, but not only do you miss out on life, but you fail to learn along the way - well, apart from the fact that the journey is quite painful so therefore may not actually stick with the wagon for any great deal of time anyway.
Taking responsibility for your own weight loss, and ultimately your own journey to get there is initially more difficult as you really do have to keep your focus on the goal.
You will have to keep your wits about you, and now allow yourself to become distracted by dark looking 'diversions' that will purposefully lead you away from your goal.
By walking your own path, you become an adventurer in your own adventure story! You meet many along the way, some who assist, some who do not. But the further along the path you go, the more you learn, the stronger you become, and you are able to easily recognise friend from foe and deal with each one appropriately.
Ultimately your fate is in your own hands. It's up to you when you want to start living and loving life.
Of course you can wait indefinitely until such a time when you do reach your magic number - that's your choice. Some say life begins at 40, others say life begins when you reach your goal weight.
Personally I say life begins right NOW.
x-x-x
Thursday 9 September 2010
Have a Little Patience
It's amazing what a short walk at 7:30am can do for clearing out the cobwebs and giving much needed perspective.
As mentioned in my last blog post, yesterday was spent mainly on my own as fella was away working and didn't get in until just gone 1:30am. As with most things in life, there were good bits, and not so good bits, but the day as a whole, yes I'll chalk up to a success.
Sometimes life throws you a bone and in a very random way, tries to teach you valuable 'life lessons' - you just have to be open enough to received I suppose.
This morning, whilst clearing the cobwebs, I realised that I had been given one of these life lessons.
Yesterday was a day off from work, and as there was nothing that needed doing that couldn't wait, the day was mine to do as I pleased with.
It all started in the morning. It was noted that our grey chicken has 'disappeared', and as the run was secure, meant one of two things - she was sick of the rain and decided to go 'indoor', or she went in to lay her first egg. I say to fella that I would keep an eye out whilst he took pooch for a walk.
Immediately I started to feel as if I was on a stake out, so set up camp in the conservatory with some binoculars, sat and waited. It was amusing watching the other three chickens like this, they weren't doing anything particularly interested, but it was still fun to just watch.
Then out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a small bird land on the bird table, so zoomed in on it to see is I could tell what it was. I couldn't. I can spot robins, magpies and pigeons - that's about it!
One of my bug bears is not knowing. I want to know that those constellations are so when I look up I can go ah yes, that's such and such. I want to know what the different types of clouds are (don't ask I have no idea why I just do!) and as with many other things, I want to be able to recognise the different species of birds. It's really frustrating looking at a bird and thinking, so what are you then (apart from just a small bird that is!).
This was my window of opportunity, I grabbed a pen and pad, and about 4 different bird identification books. For the first bird I wrote down all the colourings first and then tried to look it up. It took me a while, but in the end I discovered it was in fact a Blue Tit.
Please welcome bird watcher extraordinaire! Honestly I spent about 4 hours consumed in watching the comings and goings of that bird table. We get a lot of Blue Tits, and after a while the novelty of seeing one wears off.
But nature has a funny way of rewarding the patient.
So I am sitting there, Blue Tit, Blue Tit, Blue Tit, another Blue Tit, oh hang on that's got different colourings on! Again I turn to the books, variation on a theme, but this time it was a Coal Tit! Doesn't sound exciting? Well they say variety is the spice of life, and yes, this not only spiced things up, it motivated me to continue to sit, and be patient, to see what else would drop by.
I never had myself down as a 'bird watcher', but I have to say I really did thoroughly enjoy the experience. It was quite a buzz watching, waiting, and then all of a sudden your patience is rewarded by something that isn't a Blue Tit or a Pigeon, or the reoccurring Robin! With every 'new' species that visited, I was able to search through the books, identify the bird, and read a little background on that species. When that species came back I could then go 'Ah, you're a Nuthatch, or whatever', and that is a very satisfying experience, be able to see something and know 'what' it is!
Whilst walking pooch at silly o'clock, my thoughts turned to yesterday morning, and that is when I realised that I had experience one of those 'life lessons'.
What would have happened if after the tenth Blue Tit landing on the table, I got bored or frustrated (is that all there is out there!), or perhaps lost sight of the real reason why I was sat there in the first place (staking out our grey chicken!). I would have been annoyed at myself because I'd just wasted half an hour of my life? I would have refocused my attentions onto something else, perhaps something less rewarding?
If I had of walked away the minute things got 'boring' or indeed at the times when all signs of life disappeared, I would have missed out, and wouldn't be where I am now - feeling quite humbled at the community that appears to have invaded our garden!!
When there was nothing to see, I'd divert my attention back to the chickens, or try and search the trees or the sky to see if i could see anything. Keeping an eye always on the bird table so that I could quickly go back to it when the birds decided to show.
It's the same for anyone who wants to get healthy and shift their excess baggage. You go on a diet, start off with great intentions, and then you get to the stage 'same thing, different day', you get bored, frustrated 'why aren't I seeing results yet!! It's been four days!', you get disheartened, and give up, walk away, do something else.
Well stop a minute will you? So you've decided to go on a diet, or just change your eating habits with the intention of becoming healthier. Remember how long it took for you to get like this in the first place? Well that's not going to be fixed over night - the magic lose weight over night weight loss fairy doesn't exist. I'm sorry to have to be the one to break it to you. It's like Santa or the tooth fairy, nice idea, but in reality, nothing in life is that free!
So what do you do? You practice being patient. You have faith that what you are doing will work - and you remind yourself of this every single day, every single night, and whenever your own El Saboteur pops up to say hello.
I learnt yesterday that nature has a way of rewarding the patient. How do predators get their dinner? patience! fishermen catch their fish? patience! NASA get man to the moon? Patience!! (oh and lots of money).
So you don't see results in the first three or four days - so what!? Have patience!! Keep your eye on the prize, have patience and before you know it, you'll be unexpectedly rewarded with a compliment 'my you're looking good, have you lost weight?', 'there's something different about you, have you lost weight?', 'wow you're one foxy lady, would you like to come out for a drink sometime' (sorry getting carried away with myself there!! But you see my point).
When you receive that compliment, store it away so that you can bash El Saboteur over the head with it later!! And if you're having a little trouble staying patience, change your focus. Continue your diet, but just focus your mind on something a little more fun / a new hobby, believe me, not only will you love the fact that you are living life, but you'll find the results will come much quicker!!
As mentioned in my last blog post, yesterday was spent mainly on my own as fella was away working and didn't get in until just gone 1:30am. As with most things in life, there were good bits, and not so good bits, but the day as a whole, yes I'll chalk up to a success.
Sometimes life throws you a bone and in a very random way, tries to teach you valuable 'life lessons' - you just have to be open enough to received I suppose.
This morning, whilst clearing the cobwebs, I realised that I had been given one of these life lessons.
Yesterday was a day off from work, and as there was nothing that needed doing that couldn't wait, the day was mine to do as I pleased with.
It all started in the morning. It was noted that our grey chicken has 'disappeared', and as the run was secure, meant one of two things - she was sick of the rain and decided to go 'indoor', or she went in to lay her first egg. I say to fella that I would keep an eye out whilst he took pooch for a walk.
Immediately I started to feel as if I was on a stake out, so set up camp in the conservatory with some binoculars, sat and waited. It was amusing watching the other three chickens like this, they weren't doing anything particularly interested, but it was still fun to just watch.
Then out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a small bird land on the bird table, so zoomed in on it to see is I could tell what it was. I couldn't. I can spot robins, magpies and pigeons - that's about it!
One of my bug bears is not knowing. I want to know that those constellations are so when I look up I can go ah yes, that's such and such. I want to know what the different types of clouds are (don't ask I have no idea why I just do!) and as with many other things, I want to be able to recognise the different species of birds. It's really frustrating looking at a bird and thinking, so what are you then (apart from just a small bird that is!).
This was my window of opportunity, I grabbed a pen and pad, and about 4 different bird identification books. For the first bird I wrote down all the colourings first and then tried to look it up. It took me a while, but in the end I discovered it was in fact a Blue Tit.
Please welcome bird watcher extraordinaire! Honestly I spent about 4 hours consumed in watching the comings and goings of that bird table. We get a lot of Blue Tits, and after a while the novelty of seeing one wears off.
But nature has a funny way of rewarding the patient.
So I am sitting there, Blue Tit, Blue Tit, Blue Tit, another Blue Tit, oh hang on that's got different colourings on! Again I turn to the books, variation on a theme, but this time it was a Coal Tit! Doesn't sound exciting? Well they say variety is the spice of life, and yes, this not only spiced things up, it motivated me to continue to sit, and be patient, to see what else would drop by.
I never had myself down as a 'bird watcher', but I have to say I really did thoroughly enjoy the experience. It was quite a buzz watching, waiting, and then all of a sudden your patience is rewarded by something that isn't a Blue Tit or a Pigeon, or the reoccurring Robin! With every 'new' species that visited, I was able to search through the books, identify the bird, and read a little background on that species. When that species came back I could then go 'Ah, you're a Nuthatch, or whatever', and that is a very satisfying experience, be able to see something and know 'what' it is!
Whilst walking pooch at silly o'clock, my thoughts turned to yesterday morning, and that is when I realised that I had experience one of those 'life lessons'.
What would have happened if after the tenth Blue Tit landing on the table, I got bored or frustrated (is that all there is out there!), or perhaps lost sight of the real reason why I was sat there in the first place (staking out our grey chicken!). I would have been annoyed at myself because I'd just wasted half an hour of my life? I would have refocused my attentions onto something else, perhaps something less rewarding?
If I had of walked away the minute things got 'boring' or indeed at the times when all signs of life disappeared, I would have missed out, and wouldn't be where I am now - feeling quite humbled at the community that appears to have invaded our garden!!
When there was nothing to see, I'd divert my attention back to the chickens, or try and search the trees or the sky to see if i could see anything. Keeping an eye always on the bird table so that I could quickly go back to it when the birds decided to show.
It's the same for anyone who wants to get healthy and shift their excess baggage. You go on a diet, start off with great intentions, and then you get to the stage 'same thing, different day', you get bored, frustrated 'why aren't I seeing results yet!! It's been four days!', you get disheartened, and give up, walk away, do something else.
Well stop a minute will you? So you've decided to go on a diet, or just change your eating habits with the intention of becoming healthier. Remember how long it took for you to get like this in the first place? Well that's not going to be fixed over night - the magic lose weight over night weight loss fairy doesn't exist. I'm sorry to have to be the one to break it to you. It's like Santa or the tooth fairy, nice idea, but in reality, nothing in life is that free!
So what do you do? You practice being patient. You have faith that what you are doing will work - and you remind yourself of this every single day, every single night, and whenever your own El Saboteur pops up to say hello.
I learnt yesterday that nature has a way of rewarding the patient. How do predators get their dinner? patience! fishermen catch their fish? patience! NASA get man to the moon? Patience!! (oh and lots of money).
So you don't see results in the first three or four days - so what!? Have patience!! Keep your eye on the prize, have patience and before you know it, you'll be unexpectedly rewarded with a compliment 'my you're looking good, have you lost weight?', 'there's something different about you, have you lost weight?', 'wow you're one foxy lady, would you like to come out for a drink sometime' (sorry getting carried away with myself there!! But you see my point).
When you receive that compliment, store it away so that you can bash El Saboteur over the head with it later!! And if you're having a little trouble staying patience, change your focus. Continue your diet, but just focus your mind on something a little more fun / a new hobby, believe me, not only will you love the fact that you are living life, but you'll find the results will come much quicker!!
Wednesday 8 September 2010
Weight Loss Dairy - 8th Sept 2010
She shoots - she scores!! Yes ladies and gentlemen, yesterday we were right back on track (and felt all the happier for it). I am loving how easily I got over my little blip, and got straight back down to business again - you know, life really is so much easier (and more fun) when you don't give yourself a hard time about silly little things.
Yesterday, I received my first compliment regarding my weight, from my mother of all people! As far as I am aware, she doesn't know that I've sent every single 'diet' to Hades. In fact I am sure she thinks I am actually 'on one' (which I'm not, I really can't stress that enough).
But yesterday after our singing group was over and I was packing everything away, she turned around and said to me 'so how much weight have you lost then'. Ahhhh my ma, we do tend to spit things out in an unfortunate tone - that's where I get that habit from you know. I replied about half a stone (well it was the last time I checked), and what was the response? 'Is that all?' (said sort of in disgust) 'you look like you've lost lots more than that, well, keep it up'. Way to go with the positive reinforcement! words were there, tone certainly wasn't tee hee.
Well you could have knocked me down with a kipper skipper! It was nice to hear, no matter in what form it took, that what I have been doing is certainly noticeable - go me!!
But I wonder, is it physical weight loss she is seeing, or is it because I am much more happier in myself, and that is shining through to the world? Either way, it's just one more piece of evidence proving that what I am doing right now for myself, is right for me right now.
My other cause of celebration yesterday was that for dinner, I had my very last weight watchers microwave meal - hurrah! Now despite what Paul McKenna suggests in his I can make you thin programme, no I am not going to go to the fridge / freezer and throw out all those untasteful low calorie diet foods. I have spent good money on them, and as much as I'm starting not to mind wasting food at meal times, I can't bring myself to waste full meals before I've even eaten them!
Now, don't get me wrong, weight watcher meals are 'ok'. Actually some do taste quite nice, but I'd rather have the real thing - home made, fresh, and baked in the oven, not nuked in the microwave! I did enjoy eaten them at the time, but now even more, I am enjoying the thought of only having fresh home cooked meals that make my mouth water - real unadulterated food!
I still have three tubs of slimfast milk shake to use up, and a few boxes of slim fast meal bars and no, I refuse to throw these out either. I wont have these every day, but sometimes, believe it or not, I do really fancy having a slimfast shake or a meal bar for one of my meals. So when I fancy, they are in the cupboard waiting for me. That's not to say I wont really enjoy seeing the back of them when they are all used up - and no, frankly when they are used up they wont be replaced. I'm just saying that at the moment, I can fit them easily and happily into my diet - I've already wasted the money by buying the stuff, I can't waste that money further by not using it.
So today then - big challenge is ahead of me! Other half has a gig up in Manchester of all places! So will be on my own for about twelve hours today (boo hoo).
My challenge today is to not allow El Saboteur (that's my new name for that little inner voice) to rear its ugly head. Honestly, there are lots of things I could be doing today and tonight, so need to focus on being productive, and not dwelling on the sofa again simply because I am on my own.
I think I'll take a leaf out of other halfs book and draw up a 'to do list' to keep me focused throughout the day, as it would be really good to be able to come back tomorrow and say that today was a complete success start to finish! :)
Yesterday, I received my first compliment regarding my weight, from my mother of all people! As far as I am aware, she doesn't know that I've sent every single 'diet' to Hades. In fact I am sure she thinks I am actually 'on one' (which I'm not, I really can't stress that enough).
But yesterday after our singing group was over and I was packing everything away, she turned around and said to me 'so how much weight have you lost then'. Ahhhh my ma, we do tend to spit things out in an unfortunate tone - that's where I get that habit from you know. I replied about half a stone (well it was the last time I checked), and what was the response? 'Is that all?' (said sort of in disgust) 'you look like you've lost lots more than that, well, keep it up'. Way to go with the positive reinforcement! words were there, tone certainly wasn't tee hee.
Well you could have knocked me down with a kipper skipper! It was nice to hear, no matter in what form it took, that what I have been doing is certainly noticeable - go me!!
But I wonder, is it physical weight loss she is seeing, or is it because I am much more happier in myself, and that is shining through to the world? Either way, it's just one more piece of evidence proving that what I am doing right now for myself, is right for me right now.
My other cause of celebration yesterday was that for dinner, I had my very last weight watchers microwave meal - hurrah! Now despite what Paul McKenna suggests in his I can make you thin programme, no I am not going to go to the fridge / freezer and throw out all those untasteful low calorie diet foods. I have spent good money on them, and as much as I'm starting not to mind wasting food at meal times, I can't bring myself to waste full meals before I've even eaten them!
Now, don't get me wrong, weight watcher meals are 'ok'. Actually some do taste quite nice, but I'd rather have the real thing - home made, fresh, and baked in the oven, not nuked in the microwave! I did enjoy eaten them at the time, but now even more, I am enjoying the thought of only having fresh home cooked meals that make my mouth water - real unadulterated food!
I still have three tubs of slimfast milk shake to use up, and a few boxes of slim fast meal bars and no, I refuse to throw these out either. I wont have these every day, but sometimes, believe it or not, I do really fancy having a slimfast shake or a meal bar for one of my meals. So when I fancy, they are in the cupboard waiting for me. That's not to say I wont really enjoy seeing the back of them when they are all used up - and no, frankly when they are used up they wont be replaced. I'm just saying that at the moment, I can fit them easily and happily into my diet - I've already wasted the money by buying the stuff, I can't waste that money further by not using it.
So today then - big challenge is ahead of me! Other half has a gig up in Manchester of all places! So will be on my own for about twelve hours today (boo hoo).
My challenge today is to not allow El Saboteur (that's my new name for that little inner voice) to rear its ugly head. Honestly, there are lots of things I could be doing today and tonight, so need to focus on being productive, and not dwelling on the sofa again simply because I am on my own.
I think I'll take a leaf out of other halfs book and draw up a 'to do list' to keep me focused throughout the day, as it would be really good to be able to come back tomorrow and say that today was a complete success start to finish! :)
Tuesday 7 September 2010
Houston We Have A Problem
Sometimes life opens up and there seems to be nothing you can't do, nothing you can't handle. You face challenges head on and are able to overcome them with relative ease.
Take the Apollo missions as a very good example:
Apollo 1 - ok admittedly they didn't get off to the best of starts, they were supposed to try and orbit the earth, but instead a fire killed 3 astronauts during a test exercise
Apollo 2 - What goes up must go bang after 2 minutes 56 seconds
Apollo 3 - What goes up must also go bang, but this time 4 minutes 53 seconds
Apollo's 4, 5 & 6 - Unmanned, but did manage to at least orbit the earth - go them!
So when you've dipped your toe in the water, tasted success, what happens? well, the real fun can begin!
Apollo 7 - 1st manned mission - 11 days spent orbiting the earth
Apollo 8 - 1st manned lunar mission, and first time man witnessed earth rise
Ok now we're cooking!
Apollo 9 - 1st lunar module flight, 10 days orbiting the earth
Apollo 10 - dress rehearsal for the main moon landing event
Apollo 11 - do I really need to tell you what happened on this mission!!??
Apollo 12 - the 2nd successful moon landing
Now we're getting cocky! However, when you ride the waves of success, you must expect a little bump on the head to bring you back down to earth now and again.
Apollo 13 - What goes up, must eventually comes down. So you're on your way to the moon, and all of a sudden a blip in your electrics causes your oxygen tanks to explode. What do you do? Well you have no choice but to seek assistance and try to limp home the best you can using the resources available - see the movie with Tom Hanks, you'll see what I mean.
Now you have two choices here, give up or get back on the horse and try again. What did NASA do? get back on the horse of course!
Apollo's 14, 15, 16 and 17 all went up, all landed (some more successfully than others) on the moon's surface and came back to earth with the goodies.
And the real tragidy? Apollo's 18, 19 & 20 were all cancelled due to funding!!! If they had carried on with the great gusto in which they had started - can you even imagine how far advanced our space travel technology would be by now!!?? It's kind of like, well we've been to the moon, that's great, we'll stop now and do something else!! Unbelievable.
Oh, you want a point here don't you??
As has been demonstrated over these past few days, I have been riding on my own wave of success. Yes, I had a bit of a 'false start', but I carried on regardless, started to enjoy myself and metaphorically speaking, I really did feel as if I had flown to the moon.
Yesterday, due to an electrical blip, my oxygen tanks exploded, and I found myself limping back to HQ.
So what happened? You remember yesterday I was explaining about my inner 'little voice', well when it didn't get anywhere with the cheese on toast, it decided to hit me somewhere else.
My partner goes out to work a lot, when he's in, he goes upstairs to work in the office (a lot), and when he isn't working he's going out down the pub with his magic bunnies, or off to the local astronomy society or wherever. Lately, he's been a very social bunny indeed, and me? Well quite the opposite, I've been at home, not having a life, and looking after a snoring dog who insists on dribbling on the sofa (in his sleep).
Yesterday, that 'little voice' took control - I'll hold my hands up to that right now, insanity ruled. I was thinking that perhaps he didn't enjoy my company? didn't enjoy being at home? started doubting myself, feeling like a door mat, worthless, and ultimately feeling very unloved and very lonely. That's the key word here, loneliness. Imagine the 1st scene from Bridget Jones Diary where she is sat on the sofa, a bit tipsy, depressed, and singing 'all by myself' (well miming anyway). That would be quite a good picture on how I was feeling last night.
So what happened, well when my negative emotions take a hold of me that strongly, I invariably go into the kitchen, grab the first alcoholic and food related item I can find, and dwell on the sofa.
After a fairly good nights sleep, what is my perspective on my beliefs and consequent behaviour? Well frankly, I have to laugh at myself. (oh hello inner coach, were were you last night!!!). Honestly, right now, I am smiling at myself for being so darn silly! I'll address the issue of my other half now, as feel leaving this as it is would do him a great injustice.
Ever since we first met, he has always been fiercly independant, as am I ( ahem but I obviously have my needy moments!). Being rather old fashioned in his values (again as am I to a degree), his focus is keeping his head down and working like mad so that we can afford the lifestyle we choose to lead. His release from work is going down the pub once a week (to have a diet coke, maybe 2 if he is feeling really adventurous), and just relax with (almost) like minded individuals who share his passion and love of all things magical (card tricks etc, not spell casting!!). Do I begrudge him that? Of course not! Like me, he needs to have a life away from the house, otherwise things can become a tad claustrophobic. His down side is that although yes it's good to have a life away from the home, he needs to understand that it would be nice if he had a life at home as well. Time management is not (to be polite) one of his strong points, and seeing to my social needs at home doesn't appear to be on the agenda!
Hence the loneliness I suppose - it's a signal that one of my human needs are simply not being met. But now that the problem has been identified, it can also be very easily rectified.
I am an emotional eater. No, let's rephrase that, I WAS an emotional eater. Last night was a blip. The vital difference though is unlike any other 'morning after', I can actually sit down and clearly identify the real reason behind the emotion. Why is this important? Well, it now enables me to think very carefully about how I choose to respond to that emotion the next time it rears it's ugly head.
Like Apollo 13, I now have a choice. We know what went wrong and why, so now we can either put the whole mission to bed, or bring in the engineers and make sure that my oxygen tanks don't explode again - and if they do, we have a solid contingency plan in place so we can act swiftly and prevent any loss of life (or sanity in my case!!).
If NASA had stopped because of this little blip, we would never have known as much about the moon, or earth, as we do now.
So next time you have a little 'blip', call it just that 'a little blip'. No one died, you slipped that's all. The most important thing you can do now is forgive yourself, work out why things went a little tits up, plan how you're going to fight back next time the same thing tries to happen again and MOVE ON! Get back on the horse, return to your outstanding shiny self and ride off into the sunset.
By the way, I completely forgive myself for last night - and yes, I am feeling fabulous once again.
And as for my other half - oh yes, he's fabulous too! (but not the dog as he's still snoring on the sofa next to me.....LAZY!!!)
Take the Apollo missions as a very good example:
Apollo 1 - ok admittedly they didn't get off to the best of starts, they were supposed to try and orbit the earth, but instead a fire killed 3 astronauts during a test exercise
Apollo 2 - What goes up must go bang after 2 minutes 56 seconds
Apollo 3 - What goes up must also go bang, but this time 4 minutes 53 seconds
Apollo's 4, 5 & 6 - Unmanned, but did manage to at least orbit the earth - go them!
So when you've dipped your toe in the water, tasted success, what happens? well, the real fun can begin!
Apollo 7 - 1st manned mission - 11 days spent orbiting the earth
Apollo 8 - 1st manned lunar mission, and first time man witnessed earth rise
Ok now we're cooking!
Apollo 9 - 1st lunar module flight, 10 days orbiting the earth
Apollo 10 - dress rehearsal for the main moon landing event
Apollo 11 - do I really need to tell you what happened on this mission!!??
Apollo 12 - the 2nd successful moon landing
Now we're getting cocky! However, when you ride the waves of success, you must expect a little bump on the head to bring you back down to earth now and again.
Apollo 13 - What goes up, must eventually comes down. So you're on your way to the moon, and all of a sudden a blip in your electrics causes your oxygen tanks to explode. What do you do? Well you have no choice but to seek assistance and try to limp home the best you can using the resources available - see the movie with Tom Hanks, you'll see what I mean.
Now you have two choices here, give up or get back on the horse and try again. What did NASA do? get back on the horse of course!
Apollo's 14, 15, 16 and 17 all went up, all landed (some more successfully than others) on the moon's surface and came back to earth with the goodies.
And the real tragidy? Apollo's 18, 19 & 20 were all cancelled due to funding!!! If they had carried on with the great gusto in which they had started - can you even imagine how far advanced our space travel technology would be by now!!?? It's kind of like, well we've been to the moon, that's great, we'll stop now and do something else!! Unbelievable.
Oh, you want a point here don't you??
As has been demonstrated over these past few days, I have been riding on my own wave of success. Yes, I had a bit of a 'false start', but I carried on regardless, started to enjoy myself and metaphorically speaking, I really did feel as if I had flown to the moon.
Yesterday, due to an electrical blip, my oxygen tanks exploded, and I found myself limping back to HQ.
So what happened? You remember yesterday I was explaining about my inner 'little voice', well when it didn't get anywhere with the cheese on toast, it decided to hit me somewhere else.
My partner goes out to work a lot, when he's in, he goes upstairs to work in the office (a lot), and when he isn't working he's going out down the pub with his magic bunnies, or off to the local astronomy society or wherever. Lately, he's been a very social bunny indeed, and me? Well quite the opposite, I've been at home, not having a life, and looking after a snoring dog who insists on dribbling on the sofa (in his sleep).
Yesterday, that 'little voice' took control - I'll hold my hands up to that right now, insanity ruled. I was thinking that perhaps he didn't enjoy my company? didn't enjoy being at home? started doubting myself, feeling like a door mat, worthless, and ultimately feeling very unloved and very lonely. That's the key word here, loneliness. Imagine the 1st scene from Bridget Jones Diary where she is sat on the sofa, a bit tipsy, depressed, and singing 'all by myself' (well miming anyway). That would be quite a good picture on how I was feeling last night.
So what happened, well when my negative emotions take a hold of me that strongly, I invariably go into the kitchen, grab the first alcoholic and food related item I can find, and dwell on the sofa.
After a fairly good nights sleep, what is my perspective on my beliefs and consequent behaviour? Well frankly, I have to laugh at myself. (oh hello inner coach, were were you last night!!!). Honestly, right now, I am smiling at myself for being so darn silly! I'll address the issue of my other half now, as feel leaving this as it is would do him a great injustice.
Ever since we first met, he has always been fiercly independant, as am I ( ahem but I obviously have my needy moments!). Being rather old fashioned in his values (again as am I to a degree), his focus is keeping his head down and working like mad so that we can afford the lifestyle we choose to lead. His release from work is going down the pub once a week (to have a diet coke, maybe 2 if he is feeling really adventurous), and just relax with (almost) like minded individuals who share his passion and love of all things magical (card tricks etc, not spell casting!!). Do I begrudge him that? Of course not! Like me, he needs to have a life away from the house, otherwise things can become a tad claustrophobic. His down side is that although yes it's good to have a life away from the home, he needs to understand that it would be nice if he had a life at home as well. Time management is not (to be polite) one of his strong points, and seeing to my social needs at home doesn't appear to be on the agenda!
Hence the loneliness I suppose - it's a signal that one of my human needs are simply not being met. But now that the problem has been identified, it can also be very easily rectified.
I am an emotional eater. No, let's rephrase that, I WAS an emotional eater. Last night was a blip. The vital difference though is unlike any other 'morning after', I can actually sit down and clearly identify the real reason behind the emotion. Why is this important? Well, it now enables me to think very carefully about how I choose to respond to that emotion the next time it rears it's ugly head.
Like Apollo 13, I now have a choice. We know what went wrong and why, so now we can either put the whole mission to bed, or bring in the engineers and make sure that my oxygen tanks don't explode again - and if they do, we have a solid contingency plan in place so we can act swiftly and prevent any loss of life (or sanity in my case!!).
If NASA had stopped because of this little blip, we would never have known as much about the moon, or earth, as we do now.
So next time you have a little 'blip', call it just that 'a little blip'. No one died, you slipped that's all. The most important thing you can do now is forgive yourself, work out why things went a little tits up, plan how you're going to fight back next time the same thing tries to happen again and MOVE ON! Get back on the horse, return to your outstanding shiny self and ride off into the sunset.
By the way, I completely forgive myself for last night - and yes, I am feeling fabulous once again.
And as for my other half - oh yes, he's fabulous too! (but not the dog as he's still snoring on the sofa next to me.....LAZY!!!)
Monday 6 September 2010
Weight Loss Diary - 6th Sept 2010
Did I ever tell you how much I am loving life at the moment? Oh I did? Ok stuck record alert!
So yesterday then, can definitely say yesterday was fabulous! Firstly, other half was out selling himself at a wedding fair for most of it. Usually when he's out, that's my subconscious cue to eat like a pig and over stuff myself. Ah ha! but not this day! For breakfast I indulged myself and had cheese on toast. That's 1 slice of bread, 3 very thin slices of cheese, and nada else. I enjoyed every single scrummy bite, and about half way through I started to feel full, so put my knife & fork down and stopped.
Yes it taunted me, 'ah go on, just one more bite, you know you really want to'. But actually no I didn't, I listened to my body, and ignored that silly little voice inside my head that always wants more. To ensure I didn't get tempted into finishing it off I quickly put the rest of the toast in the bin - I didn't fancy eating cold cheese on toast later in the day! :P
What a buzz! Sounds daft that, getting a buzz from knowing when your body has had enough, and simply listening to it, and stopping.
In other news, yesterday I also started to go through my pc and have had a bit of a clear out. Bit random? no, still on topic I promise!!
You see, on my pc, I have created for myself so many diets, weight loss thermometers, weight loss records, and excel spreadsheets working out if I lost so many pounds then I'd reach my goal weight by such and such a date. I literally did a day by day weight loss forecast. These have all been deleted, and my goodness, not only did it feel weird doing so, it felt quite therapeutic!
Like I said before DOWN WITH DIETS!! ah ha! To follow through on that philosophy I get to free up quite a lot of computer disk space!! (as well as head space). So what was for dinner? Steak and chips ta! Served on a tea plate so yes it was a much smaller portion that I'd usually have, and yes I ate every last bite - and yes I kept double checking with my body to see when I was getting full. It was just by luck I think that the portion size I gave myself was just enough to satisfy the physical hunger.......Score!!!
This morning I will admit, a tiny part of me wants to hop onto the scales, I mean it's been three days now since I freed myself from the evil that is fad dieting! Thankfully that little voice was silenced almost as soon as it was raised. Tut tut little voice you should really know better than to interfere like that!
I can tell you now that the part of me with 'the little voice' is actually curious to see whether this new way of doing things will work, and in the very back of my mind probably thinks this is just another 'fad' and I'll end up my biggest yet.
However, the more dominant 'voice' (let's call it my inner coach), is somehow able to scream over little voice, and know jolly well that if I carry on the way I am doing, then not only will I be happy, and living life as full as I want it to be, but I'll also be losing weight and WILL reach that healthy weight / body shape that is right for me. In fact the coach voice is so strong inside my head, I have little choice but to listen and believe it!! And I can't even describe how good that feels, how good that makes ME feel about myself.
I think success is quite addictive, although to be perfect honest I'd rather have that as an addiction than getting on the scales every single day and getting depressed because the magic weight loss fairy has yet again failed to make me 9 stone over night.
So how do we start experiencing success? Well you have to start somewhere, so why not start by doing something small.
I challenge you today to seek out success, no matter how small. You've been putting off doing the ironing, but you've got off your bum and finished it - SUCCESS! You ate two slices of toast for breakfast instead of the usual three or four - SUCCESS!! You decided you would by pass the bakery and not have your usual mid morning sausage roll / cake / packet of crisps etc - SUCCESS!!! (one less spoon of sugar in your tea, making that phone call or sending that email you've been meaning to, paying that outstanding bill, turning off the TV and doing something else with your spare time this evening - all adds up to success!! BUT it HAS to be what YOU really want and what is relevant for YOU!(and not because someone else said that you 'had to'))
It doesn't matter how small it may feel at the time, if you have been able to do something that you have either been putting off, didn't think you had the will power, or just something you don't usually do but have now done - mark it up on the chalk board and give yourself a well deserved pat on the back for a job very well done!
There is another part of this challenge - once you have achieved that first success, don't brush it under the carpet. You have GOT to take a step back, and really appreciate what it is you have done - even if it's 'only' getting the vacuum out and vacuuming the carpet! The point is that this is YOUR achievement, YOUR success and you should not only feel proud of yourself for achieving it, but you ARE ALLOWED to bathe in the shiny glory that is your brilliance!
Because believe it or not, you are brilliant - you just may not have realised yet.
So go on - how are you going to be brilliant and achieve your own success today?
x-x-x
So yesterday then, can definitely say yesterday was fabulous! Firstly, other half was out selling himself at a wedding fair for most of it. Usually when he's out, that's my subconscious cue to eat like a pig and over stuff myself. Ah ha! but not this day! For breakfast I indulged myself and had cheese on toast. That's 1 slice of bread, 3 very thin slices of cheese, and nada else. I enjoyed every single scrummy bite, and about half way through I started to feel full, so put my knife & fork down and stopped.
Yes it taunted me, 'ah go on, just one more bite, you know you really want to'. But actually no I didn't, I listened to my body, and ignored that silly little voice inside my head that always wants more. To ensure I didn't get tempted into finishing it off I quickly put the rest of the toast in the bin - I didn't fancy eating cold cheese on toast later in the day! :P
What a buzz! Sounds daft that, getting a buzz from knowing when your body has had enough, and simply listening to it, and stopping.
In other news, yesterday I also started to go through my pc and have had a bit of a clear out. Bit random? no, still on topic I promise!!
You see, on my pc, I have created for myself so many diets, weight loss thermometers, weight loss records, and excel spreadsheets working out if I lost so many pounds then I'd reach my goal weight by such and such a date. I literally did a day by day weight loss forecast. These have all been deleted, and my goodness, not only did it feel weird doing so, it felt quite therapeutic!
Like I said before DOWN WITH DIETS!! ah ha! To follow through on that philosophy I get to free up quite a lot of computer disk space!! (as well as head space). So what was for dinner? Steak and chips ta! Served on a tea plate so yes it was a much smaller portion that I'd usually have, and yes I ate every last bite - and yes I kept double checking with my body to see when I was getting full. It was just by luck I think that the portion size I gave myself was just enough to satisfy the physical hunger.......Score!!!
This morning I will admit, a tiny part of me wants to hop onto the scales, I mean it's been three days now since I freed myself from the evil that is fad dieting! Thankfully that little voice was silenced almost as soon as it was raised. Tut tut little voice you should really know better than to interfere like that!
I can tell you now that the part of me with 'the little voice' is actually curious to see whether this new way of doing things will work, and in the very back of my mind probably thinks this is just another 'fad' and I'll end up my biggest yet.
However, the more dominant 'voice' (let's call it my inner coach), is somehow able to scream over little voice, and know jolly well that if I carry on the way I am doing, then not only will I be happy, and living life as full as I want it to be, but I'll also be losing weight and WILL reach that healthy weight / body shape that is right for me. In fact the coach voice is so strong inside my head, I have little choice but to listen and believe it!! And I can't even describe how good that feels, how good that makes ME feel about myself.
I think success is quite addictive, although to be perfect honest I'd rather have that as an addiction than getting on the scales every single day and getting depressed because the magic weight loss fairy has yet again failed to make me 9 stone over night.
So how do we start experiencing success? Well you have to start somewhere, so why not start by doing something small.
I challenge you today to seek out success, no matter how small. You've been putting off doing the ironing, but you've got off your bum and finished it - SUCCESS! You ate two slices of toast for breakfast instead of the usual three or four - SUCCESS!! You decided you would by pass the bakery and not have your usual mid morning sausage roll / cake / packet of crisps etc - SUCCESS!!! (one less spoon of sugar in your tea, making that phone call or sending that email you've been meaning to, paying that outstanding bill, turning off the TV and doing something else with your spare time this evening - all adds up to success!! BUT it HAS to be what YOU really want and what is relevant for YOU!(and not because someone else said that you 'had to'))
It doesn't matter how small it may feel at the time, if you have been able to do something that you have either been putting off, didn't think you had the will power, or just something you don't usually do but have now done - mark it up on the chalk board and give yourself a well deserved pat on the back for a job very well done!
There is another part of this challenge - once you have achieved that first success, don't brush it under the carpet. You have GOT to take a step back, and really appreciate what it is you have done - even if it's 'only' getting the vacuum out and vacuuming the carpet! The point is that this is YOUR achievement, YOUR success and you should not only feel proud of yourself for achieving it, but you ARE ALLOWED to bathe in the shiny glory that is your brilliance!
Because believe it or not, you are brilliant - you just may not have realised yet.
So go on - how are you going to be brilliant and achieve your own success today?
x-x-x
Sunday 5 September 2010
Weight Loss Diary 5th Sept 2010
Yesterday I spent three fabulous hours sorting out my front garden! When we first moved to our new home, about two and a half months ago now, our garden was basically a gravel pit. The previous occupiers had covered the 'garden' in builders shingle (not even the pretty stuff!) and for the past sixteen years had been using it as a car park.
Even before we moved in, I told myself that this would be one of the first things I would sort out. It did of course mean moving all that shingle, finding weed repellent matting underneath, hoofing that up, then periodically trying to loosing what was compacted dead soil. After which came the expensive part - buying lots and lots of top soil, compost, bedding flowers, borders and finally the all important turf!
Progress was slow, but steady, as I was doing this mainly all by myself (and on the odd Saturday's ma would come over and help), and week by week, little by little, my little country garden began to emerge.
Yesterday, I was able to lay the final pieces of turf, plant the rockery, and even cover the foot of concrete on the very front edge with bark. Not for the first time on this project, I was able to stand back and really appreciate not only the time and hard work put in, but more importantly the end result!
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not finished yet, I still have my white picket fence to buy / make / put up, a small border separating the grass bit from the 'driveway' bit, oh and let's not forget actually removing another large mound of shingle from the car park bit, flattening that out, and at some point laying paving slabs, or whatever I decide will suit best!
Even though I still have lots to do, my focus is on what I have already achieved - the lush green grass, the pretty flowers still full of colour, the Divine smell of freshly laid bark (sorry it's a fetish I never knew I had until yesterday!!).
So what's my point? Well, let's come back to the real topic of weight loss.
One of the first things I did this morning before taking doggy woof woof out for a walk, was stand in front of my full length mirror and just look at myself, and to be perfectly frank, I didn't dislike what I saw. Ok, so clothes are slightly more loose than I'd of expected (do I dare try a smaller size yet? My sources say no, not yet, maybe next week we'll be brave and see!!) but over all, even when doing a little spin, I can actually see a difference in me.
Now whether this is body shape, or just my own mental perception of me, I really can't say. But the point is I'm starting to look at myself differently, and that my friends is progress!
As with the garden, the initial external view wasn't ideal. It did the job yes, but wasn't what I personally wanted to see. But slowly, week by week, with a little bit consistent effort the results of my labours are beginning to show.
My focus isn't on 'all that weight I've still got to lose' (because let's not kid ourselves, I still have a long way to go on that front). Instead, I've turned my focus onto what I have already lost, and how in that mirror, I can very clearly see my end desired result.
Not only can I see my end result crystal clear, but I'm also beginning to LIVE as if I have already achieved my perfect size and perfect weight.
And that I feel calls for a massive WHOOP WHOOP!!
x-x-x
Even before we moved in, I told myself that this would be one of the first things I would sort out. It did of course mean moving all that shingle, finding weed repellent matting underneath, hoofing that up, then periodically trying to loosing what was compacted dead soil. After which came the expensive part - buying lots and lots of top soil, compost, bedding flowers, borders and finally the all important turf!
Progress was slow, but steady, as I was doing this mainly all by myself (and on the odd Saturday's ma would come over and help), and week by week, little by little, my little country garden began to emerge.
Yesterday, I was able to lay the final pieces of turf, plant the rockery, and even cover the foot of concrete on the very front edge with bark. Not for the first time on this project, I was able to stand back and really appreciate not only the time and hard work put in, but more importantly the end result!
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not finished yet, I still have my white picket fence to buy / make / put up, a small border separating the grass bit from the 'driveway' bit, oh and let's not forget actually removing another large mound of shingle from the car park bit, flattening that out, and at some point laying paving slabs, or whatever I decide will suit best!
Even though I still have lots to do, my focus is on what I have already achieved - the lush green grass, the pretty flowers still full of colour, the Divine smell of freshly laid bark (sorry it's a fetish I never knew I had until yesterday!!).
So what's my point? Well, let's come back to the real topic of weight loss.
One of the first things I did this morning before taking doggy woof woof out for a walk, was stand in front of my full length mirror and just look at myself, and to be perfectly frank, I didn't dislike what I saw. Ok, so clothes are slightly more loose than I'd of expected (do I dare try a smaller size yet? My sources say no, not yet, maybe next week we'll be brave and see!!) but over all, even when doing a little spin, I can actually see a difference in me.
Now whether this is body shape, or just my own mental perception of me, I really can't say. But the point is I'm starting to look at myself differently, and that my friends is progress!
As with the garden, the initial external view wasn't ideal. It did the job yes, but wasn't what I personally wanted to see. But slowly, week by week, with a little bit consistent effort the results of my labours are beginning to show.
My focus isn't on 'all that weight I've still got to lose' (because let's not kid ourselves, I still have a long way to go on that front). Instead, I've turned my focus onto what I have already lost, and how in that mirror, I can very clearly see my end desired result.
Not only can I see my end result crystal clear, but I'm also beginning to LIVE as if I have already achieved my perfect size and perfect weight.
And that I feel calls for a massive WHOOP WHOOP!!
x-x-x
Saturday 4 September 2010
Good Morning Me!!
This is a very strange feeling. I woke up this morning without the usual weight related hang ups. I didn't get up early, haven't exercised, and yet, I feel none of the usual guilt / annoyance / sense of failure that I usually do this time of a morning when I say I'll do something, but end up not.
As I said yesterday, such a huge weight has been (metaphorically) lifted from my shoulders, and now I am faced with a huge void of not knowing quite what to do with myself, how I 'should' be feeling or what I 'should' be doing.
Strangely, I had the most comfortable (and snuggly) nights sleep last night, and I have awoken this morning fresh and alert! Why strange? Because 'usually' I'm waking up, or tossing and turning, and when I wake up, I'm just as groggy in the morning as I was when I went to bed! But not last night, last night was simply sublime :D
As I was walking out of the bedroom, I noticed a couple of books on my dressing table this morning, both entitled 'change your life in seven days!'. I had to chuckle as I haven't even touched them yet, besides which, my feelings this morning were why wait seven days!? I'm changing right now!! I didn't believe it was possible to change 'just like that', but a switch has finally clicked in my brain, and now I believe that anything really is possible - even choosing to change your psychological mind set, and then 'just doing it'.
So onwards and upwards, as it's a Saturday I'll more than likely just do 'busy' jobs today, dog needs a trim, garden needs hoeing that sort of thing, and yes I'll probably get round to doing the housework too! (but we wont hold our breaths on that last one tee hee). I may even just spend a couple of hours sitting in the garden reading (don't gasp, I know, when does that ever happen!?).
The point is, I find myself in a position where there is so much I really want to be doing - none of which involves sitting on my behind, in doors, watching that thing in the corner called TV.
My time is now, not in seven days time, not 'when i reach my goal weight'.
It's right here, and right now. So let's go show the world what I'm really made of :D
As I said yesterday, such a huge weight has been (metaphorically) lifted from my shoulders, and now I am faced with a huge void of not knowing quite what to do with myself, how I 'should' be feeling or what I 'should' be doing.
Strangely, I had the most comfortable (and snuggly) nights sleep last night, and I have awoken this morning fresh and alert! Why strange? Because 'usually' I'm waking up, or tossing and turning, and when I wake up, I'm just as groggy in the morning as I was when I went to bed! But not last night, last night was simply sublime :D
As I was walking out of the bedroom, I noticed a couple of books on my dressing table this morning, both entitled 'change your life in seven days!'. I had to chuckle as I haven't even touched them yet, besides which, my feelings this morning were why wait seven days!? I'm changing right now!! I didn't believe it was possible to change 'just like that', but a switch has finally clicked in my brain, and now I believe that anything really is possible - even choosing to change your psychological mind set, and then 'just doing it'.
So onwards and upwards, as it's a Saturday I'll more than likely just do 'busy' jobs today, dog needs a trim, garden needs hoeing that sort of thing, and yes I'll probably get round to doing the housework too! (but we wont hold our breaths on that last one tee hee). I may even just spend a couple of hours sitting in the garden reading (don't gasp, I know, when does that ever happen!?).
The point is, I find myself in a position where there is so much I really want to be doing - none of which involves sitting on my behind, in doors, watching that thing in the corner called TV.
My time is now, not in seven days time, not 'when i reach my goal weight'.
It's right here, and right now. So let's go show the world what I'm really made of :D
Friday 3 September 2010
Weight Loss Challenge - Final Review
I will warn you up front this will be one of my longest blogs yet!
Almost 40 days ago now I began my weight loss journey. As far as weight loss is concerned, I've lost half a stone, and I can say hand on heart I look no different. To me half a stone is just a drop in the ocean. Yes it's a start, not a very good one, but a start none the less. In that time I would have liked to have at least doubled that figure, but I didn't, and despite this, the challenge did achieve a necessary change!
When looking back at myself at the beginning of the challenge, on a psychological level I am looking at a completely different person. I see a person with numerous emotional and psychological ties that each in turn took a chunk out of my own personal happiness and overall well being.
Where these ties came from, well some I have my suspicions, some I'm sure if I sat and dwelled long enough I'd discover a deep and meaningful under lying cause and some I'm sure have no base in reality what-so-ever. Who knows, but more importantly, who cares!
Beware the ties that bind - for these are the restrictions you place upon yourself. Hang on a mo, I'll fetch the scissors.
So there I was back then, hating myself, hating the scales, hating food, and generally dissatisfied with life. Now there's a pretty picture ain't it!
I knew, as I still know now, my desired end result, not just with weight loss, but in life, career, home etc. The problem is knowing the destination is simply not good enough, even thinking you know how you're going to achieve your goals isn't enough. If you don't release that which is really tieing you down, even though you may think you're moving in the right direction, you're not.
I thought I had the answer. I was going to lose 1 lb every day, reach my goal weight quickly and be happy ever after. I was going to achieve this by restricting my calorie intake and exercising like there was no tomorrow. Before you all start tutting or shouting at me, I want you to note the over use of 'past tense' in the paragraph.
Good in theory? well no, but I thought it was. So on day one, I stepped on the scales, 2lbs off - great! Day two, I stepped on the scales, 1 lb off - still great! Day three, I stepped on the scales, another 1 lb off - this is going so well. Day three - um, so hungry I end up eating that blasted horse, now hung up on the fact that I've just undone the past three days. Day four, I stepped on the scales - oh bugga, I have. Feel really depressed and like a complete failure. Vow to do another week of the above before I step back on the scales. And so we go on. This is literally the rut I had gotten myself in.
Weighing yourself every single day, no matter how you try and dress it up, is an unhealthy obsession. It's an addiction, pure and simple.
So when Paul McKenna suggests as part of his I can make you thin plan, that maybe you only weigh yourself once every two weeks, or even just once a month, well in theory I could see the logic. But getting off those scales were really hard!! I had a real battle with myself, and in the beginning I'd justify to myself that I was having 'just a quick check' on my weight loss progress. So what happens, when the scales didn't move, or it went up (because I wasn't actually following the plan and reverted back to old habits), I'd get disheartened, feel like a failure and vow to do better. Which let's be honest, I never did.
I took some much needed time out this morning to reflect on my life and I suppose if I had made any headway what-so-ever.
Actually, when looking at where I am as opposed to where I was:
- I'm more aware of the feeling of actual hunger, and can recognise when the hunger is physical or emotional.
- I'm learning to accept that actually, I'm not so bad after all
- I've banished the scales. I don't need them right now, and I have no desire to continue to be dictated to by the results they show.
- I'm learning more about the correct portion sizes for me, and accept that smaller portions are not only fine, but normal!
Frankly this list could go on for quite a bit! But the most important revelation of all is that I will NEVER touch another so called 'diet' ever again!
I'm listening very carefully to what my body needs, and what it doesn't need is another 'crash diet'. It doesn't need to be told that it can only have liquids, or a combination of liquids and so called 'meals'. It doesn't need to be told that it can only eat certain foods on certain days, or count calories or 'points' or fat content or weigh and measure every thing!
My father once said to me 'everything in moderation', and you know, I never really appreciated this little saying - until now.
Beware the ties that bind - my true ties were feeling as if I had to 'diet' and constantly weigh myself in order to gain acceptance in the world.
Well I will tell you right now - NOT ANY MORE!!! My body knows what it wants, and you know what, I'm jolly well going to work WITH it and give it exactly what it wants, instead of working against it and trying to starve or restrict the energy it needs to live.
Don't think for one minute I have completely potty and am on the road for gaining a million pounds in weight and become Britain's fattest female! Oh no, on the contrary, I have every intention of only eating when I'm hungry, stopping when I'm full even (gasp!) throwing away food I can't eat, or at least storing the left overs until such a time my body is physically hungry again.
My future is bright. My future is very shiny. My future involves reaching a healthy weight which is perfect for me. My future is freedom from those negative ties, freedom from diets, freedom from constantly weighing myself and obsessing that I 'Should' be this weight by this date.
I am putting my 'weight loss challenge' to bed now, once and for all. I'm not going to stop blogging by any stretch of the imagination, I enjoy it! so why stop!!?
And yes, I'll still report on my weight loss, and share, perhaps in more detail, all the things I'm learning and experiencing along the way.
Today I have realised that without all these binds, my future has suddenly become so squeezabley good! It's crazy but all this weight has been lifted completely from my shoulders!
I've got my zest for life back - and frankly I'm now just itching to go out and just live!
x-x-x
Almost 40 days ago now I began my weight loss journey. As far as weight loss is concerned, I've lost half a stone, and I can say hand on heart I look no different. To me half a stone is just a drop in the ocean. Yes it's a start, not a very good one, but a start none the less. In that time I would have liked to have at least doubled that figure, but I didn't, and despite this, the challenge did achieve a necessary change!
When looking back at myself at the beginning of the challenge, on a psychological level I am looking at a completely different person. I see a person with numerous emotional and psychological ties that each in turn took a chunk out of my own personal happiness and overall well being.
Where these ties came from, well some I have my suspicions, some I'm sure if I sat and dwelled long enough I'd discover a deep and meaningful under lying cause and some I'm sure have no base in reality what-so-ever. Who knows, but more importantly, who cares!
Beware the ties that bind - for these are the restrictions you place upon yourself. Hang on a mo, I'll fetch the scissors.
So there I was back then, hating myself, hating the scales, hating food, and generally dissatisfied with life. Now there's a pretty picture ain't it!
I knew, as I still know now, my desired end result, not just with weight loss, but in life, career, home etc. The problem is knowing the destination is simply not good enough, even thinking you know how you're going to achieve your goals isn't enough. If you don't release that which is really tieing you down, even though you may think you're moving in the right direction, you're not.
I thought I had the answer. I was going to lose 1 lb every day, reach my goal weight quickly and be happy ever after. I was going to achieve this by restricting my calorie intake and exercising like there was no tomorrow. Before you all start tutting or shouting at me, I want you to note the over use of 'past tense' in the paragraph.
Good in theory? well no, but I thought it was. So on day one, I stepped on the scales, 2lbs off - great! Day two, I stepped on the scales, 1 lb off - still great! Day three, I stepped on the scales, another 1 lb off - this is going so well. Day three - um, so hungry I end up eating that blasted horse, now hung up on the fact that I've just undone the past three days. Day four, I stepped on the scales - oh bugga, I have. Feel really depressed and like a complete failure. Vow to do another week of the above before I step back on the scales. And so we go on. This is literally the rut I had gotten myself in.
Weighing yourself every single day, no matter how you try and dress it up, is an unhealthy obsession. It's an addiction, pure and simple.
So when Paul McKenna suggests as part of his I can make you thin plan, that maybe you only weigh yourself once every two weeks, or even just once a month, well in theory I could see the logic. But getting off those scales were really hard!! I had a real battle with myself, and in the beginning I'd justify to myself that I was having 'just a quick check' on my weight loss progress. So what happens, when the scales didn't move, or it went up (because I wasn't actually following the plan and reverted back to old habits), I'd get disheartened, feel like a failure and vow to do better. Which let's be honest, I never did.
I took some much needed time out this morning to reflect on my life and I suppose if I had made any headway what-so-ever.
Actually, when looking at where I am as opposed to where I was:
- I'm more aware of the feeling of actual hunger, and can recognise when the hunger is physical or emotional.
- I'm learning to accept that actually, I'm not so bad after all
- I've banished the scales. I don't need them right now, and I have no desire to continue to be dictated to by the results they show.
- I'm learning more about the correct portion sizes for me, and accept that smaller portions are not only fine, but normal!
Frankly this list could go on for quite a bit! But the most important revelation of all is that I will NEVER touch another so called 'diet' ever again!
I'm listening very carefully to what my body needs, and what it doesn't need is another 'crash diet'. It doesn't need to be told that it can only have liquids, or a combination of liquids and so called 'meals'. It doesn't need to be told that it can only eat certain foods on certain days, or count calories or 'points' or fat content or weigh and measure every thing!
My father once said to me 'everything in moderation', and you know, I never really appreciated this little saying - until now.
Beware the ties that bind - my true ties were feeling as if I had to 'diet' and constantly weigh myself in order to gain acceptance in the world.
Well I will tell you right now - NOT ANY MORE!!! My body knows what it wants, and you know what, I'm jolly well going to work WITH it and give it exactly what it wants, instead of working against it and trying to starve or restrict the energy it needs to live.
Don't think for one minute I have completely potty and am on the road for gaining a million pounds in weight and become Britain's fattest female! Oh no, on the contrary, I have every intention of only eating when I'm hungry, stopping when I'm full even (gasp!) throwing away food I can't eat, or at least storing the left overs until such a time my body is physically hungry again.
My future is bright. My future is very shiny. My future involves reaching a healthy weight which is perfect for me. My future is freedom from those negative ties, freedom from diets, freedom from constantly weighing myself and obsessing that I 'Should' be this weight by this date.
I am putting my 'weight loss challenge' to bed now, once and for all. I'm not going to stop blogging by any stretch of the imagination, I enjoy it! so why stop!!?
And yes, I'll still report on my weight loss, and share, perhaps in more detail, all the things I'm learning and experiencing along the way.
Today I have realised that without all these binds, my future has suddenly become so squeezabley good! It's crazy but all this weight has been lifted completely from my shoulders!
I've got my zest for life back - and frankly I'm now just itching to go out and just live!
x-x-x
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