Coaching - part 2

oh my goodness!!!!

Life has certainly got a little more interesting to say the least! Following on from the last post, I eventually did manage to get hold the the coach, she actually emailed me back from Kathmandu (of course! where else!) and said she wouldn't be in the country until after the 20th Nov. Not as bad as you first may think because in the mean time I was given my first 'task', which was to listen to Paul McKennas hypnosis CD consistently every day and keep a log of the date / time CD was listened to - which I did!!

With me it's all about consistency - in that I never used to be, so making a point to listen to some hypnosis every night for the past three weeks (I'm still going ya know!) is quite an achievement for me!!

So that was then, let's skip forward three weeks to now.

Yesterday I had my first one to one with Life Coach Dawn - let me just repeat my sentiments at the start of the post - oh.......my.......goodness!!!!!!

I was more nervous about finding the place then I was about the actual coaching itself, but thankfully the journey turned out to be a very straight forward.

Have to say, it wasn't too long into the session before I 'knew' that 'this' was 'right' - I wont go too much into detail regarding what we discussed etc, but needless to say after just over an hour of info dumping from both sides, I have come away with my plan of action for this week, as well as a log sheet to tick off when said tasks have been done! At one point I had to look her right in the eye to convince her I was going to follow through with a couple of the items on the list - scarily hilarious experience I can tell you, but at least she could see at least in that moment I was certain of success!!

The key for me really is consistency in following through with basic actions. This week, some of the items on my focus list is: getting up at 6am, taking tablet, having breakfast, walking dogs twice a day, listening to hypnosis track. AS you can see it's not difficult stuff, the point is more about taking consistent positive action so that you carve out good solid habits.

Last night, I did take the dogs on their first evening walk - I don't know who exactly was more shocked, me or them! But at least that was another tick in the box.

This morning I awoke at 5:50am, so that's one more tick, and any second now I shall embark upon breakfast so that'll be the 3rd tick for the day!!

Coaching

It's only been half an hour or so since I last blogged, but already I have taken some positive action (and am starting to feel a little more motivated / happier with myself!).

Went onto the Life Coach Directory again - after all where else would you go to find a coach!? Anyway, after trolling down the list I have selected one coach who looks like they fit the bill nicely. I know, before you start jumping up and down on me about looking around some more, but I got one of those 'feelings' about this one.

I have emailed her to ask for some more info and am anxiously awaiting response. This is either a lesson in responding to emails as soon as you receive them, or a lesson for me to practice patience! most likely it is the latter, I'm just keen!

Am expecting a telephone consultation, possible 'hard sell', and then for me to sign up to a million weeks worth of sessions! (I jest about the latter of course, really it'll be half a million!!).

Seriously though, it would be really good to have some one to one personal motivation / solver of internal turmoils etc.

After looking at fb page & website I see photo's and links to good ole Paul McKenna - another reason why I'm already 3/4's sold on this particular coach. Maybe she'll motivate me to follow through with his stuff! Oh who knows, brain has gone into over drive, as has internal aches & pains, time for some peppermint tea and some meditation (or something) as I'm internally as wound up as something that is wound up very tightly (even metaphors are escaping me this morning! arrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!).

And breathe...........

30 Day Kick Start Plan - Day 1

So you want to lose 30lbs in 30 days. Can it be done? should it be done?

There are lots of yay sayers and nay sayers on the subject – personally I haven’t made my mind up yet, the idea of losing 30lbs in 30 days is a very enticing one, and I suppose as in life, what seems impossible is actually very possible – it just depends on your attitude, approach and naturally your flexibility!

Right from the start I will stress that I will NOT be starving myself or depriving myself in any way shape or form in order to lose weight. I don’t condone starvation as a weight loss method as I fully believe in working WITH your body, not against it. Your body has the know how, we just have to put our listening ears on, and go with it.

In order to achieve a loss of 30lbs in 30 days, I believe that I need to address my diet, ‘have’ a daily routine in which exercise is incorporated and ensure that I remain motivated and focused throughout.

Writing up a daily success schedule has helped put into perspective everything I need and want to achieve on a daily basis – including exercise. So that this new schedule isn’t too overwhelming, my plan is to incorporate one new element at a time, so by the end of the 30 days I will be literally ‘living’ the dream – I’ll go into more detail about this success schedule in another blog.

For my diet, I am going to stick with what I know best - counting and logging calories. For some people they can’t stand the thought of this, for me, it’s how I regain control over what goes into my mouth.

As far as motivation and focus goes, this is where my iPhone comes in very handy! I’m not a techno geek by any stretch of the imagination (in fact I’m quite the opposite), but as it turns out, my iPhone can be quite an empowering tool for success! On it, I have Apps to look up count and track calories, ‘coaches’ who say something rude if you want to eat anything naughty (makes me laugh every time!), diary to record my thoughts, virtual images to show what being my goal weight looks like in comparison to the weight I am now, and best of all Paul McKenna’s I Can Make You Thin – whereby I have a success journal, hypnosis track, and motivational videos, I even have a 30 day count app to tell me how many days are left to go!

Put that altogether, focusing and following through on a consistent daily basis should mean a loss of 30lbs in 30 days right?

Well, provided I follow through with my intentions, in 30 days, we’ll find out :D

30 Day Lifestyle Challenge - Day One

Morning peeps! Well it's Monday, and we have yet another gorgeous morning this morning!!

After having a couple of weeks 'off' from all things routine, I've been simply itching to set myself a 30 day challenge! In keeping with my down with diets attitude, this challenge isn't about 'keeping to a restricted diet and exercise routine', yes exercise is involved, and yes I have written out my 'menu' for the week, but NO I'm not on a diet - still with me here??!

I'll let you in on a little secret, I have a passion for rural Victorian life, more specifically from the middle class farmers wife / female perspective. I don't know where it has come from, but I am simply fascinated by it, and have been inspired myself to adopt a more back to basics lifestyle.

I am at present researching for a book I am intending to write: 'Modern Day Victorian Living' (or something like that!). Using the rural Victorian as a template, I shall not only attempt to bring back past values / crafts / routines etc but more importantly make those values & routines etc relevant for today. Big example of this would be washing day - back then it took them four days to wash / dry & iron clothes by hand. Today we put it in the washing machine which is much easier! (so naturally I wont be dismissing modern technology just for the sake of it, just using it when and where it has it's place).

After a small amount of research, I have an idea on the farmers wife very basic weekly Mon - Sat routine, with Sunday of course being God's day and naturally a day of rest (sounds good to me!!), which mainly dealt with the household chores, baking days (I really looking forward to those already!!) and market day (for me, that involves sitting at the computer and ordering from Tesco's tee hee). In addition to the standard household chores, I have also given myself set exercises to do every day, and have set out what I'll be eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

With the latter, again please don't confuse this as a diet, just because I have set out a meal plan. The plan is based around what I currently have in the cupboards, and enjoy eating! I'm using current stocks up before buying more in - saves on the waste that way!

And yes, as far as the food is concerned, with the exception of Breakfast, I will still be following Paul Mckenna's Principles of only eating when I'm hungry.

Breakfast is the exception because I have never really eaten breakfast - if I do eat, it's more of a Brunch thing. So this time at the very least I will eat Breakfast every day without waiting to gauge whether I'm hungry or not - and yes, I will stop once I am full.

So yesterday, I sat down and wrote out my jobs to complete list for each day, every day encompassing toning and treadmill exercise, 3 meals, and my chores list for today. Sounds tiresome? Well today is washing day, and what that mean? well, putting all the laundry in the washing machine and switching it on - oh yes I can see how that could be irksome!!?

So, getting to the actual 'challenge'.

This morning, I weighed out 1oz of porridge, made with milk and sugar sprinkled on top, accompanied by a glass of water, which although was very tasty, unbelievably (or not) I've had about 3 teaspoonfuls and am feeling quite stuffed! I'm not even sure I've eaten half of it! Like I said, my body isn't used to eating breakfast, next time I do porridge I'll put a little less in and see what happens.

I've also sorted out the chickens, taken meat out to defrost for tonight's dinner, completed my toning exercises and made the fella his morning cup of tea in bed whilst sorting out my own breakfast, and no, I didn't get up at 6am either!

As is normally the case, day one is so far going swimmingly, but then again let's be realistic - I've only just begun, let's see where I am in 30 days time :D

Weight Loss Dairy - 8th Sept 2010

She shoots - she scores!! Yes ladies and gentlemen, yesterday we were right back on track (and felt all the happier for it). I am loving how easily I got over my little blip, and got straight back down to business again - you know, life really is so much easier (and more fun) when you don't give yourself a hard time about silly little things.

Yesterday, I received my first compliment regarding my weight, from my mother of all people! As far as I am aware, she doesn't know that I've sent every single 'diet' to Hades. In fact I am sure she thinks I am actually 'on one' (which I'm not, I really can't stress that enough).

But yesterday after our singing group was over and I was packing everything away, she turned around and said to me 'so how much weight have you lost then'. Ahhhh my ma, we do tend to spit things out in an unfortunate tone - that's where I get that habit from you know. I replied about half a stone (well it was the last time I checked), and what was the response? 'Is that all?' (said sort of in disgust) 'you look like you've lost lots more than that, well, keep it up'. Way to go with the positive reinforcement! words were there, tone certainly wasn't tee hee.

Well you could have knocked me down with a kipper skipper! It was nice to hear, no matter in what form it took, that what I have been doing is certainly noticeable - go me!!

But I wonder, is it physical weight loss she is seeing, or is it because I am much more happier in myself, and that is shining through to the world? Either way, it's just one more piece of evidence proving that what I am doing right now for myself, is right for me right now.

My other cause of celebration yesterday was that for dinner, I had my very last weight watchers microwave meal - hurrah! Now despite what Paul McKenna suggests in his I can make you thin programme, no I am not going to go to the fridge / freezer and throw out all those untasteful low calorie diet foods. I have spent good money on them, and as much as I'm starting not to mind wasting food at meal times, I can't bring myself to waste full meals before I've even eaten them!

Now, don't get me wrong, weight watcher meals are 'ok'. Actually some do taste quite nice, but I'd rather have the real thing - home made, fresh, and baked in the oven, not nuked in the microwave! I did enjoy eaten them at the time, but now even more, I am enjoying the thought of only having fresh home cooked meals that make my mouth water - real unadulterated food!

I still have three tubs of slimfast milk shake to use up, and a few boxes of slim fast meal bars and no, I refuse to throw these out either. I wont have these every day, but sometimes, believe it or not, I do really fancy having a slimfast shake or a meal bar for one of my meals. So when I fancy, they are in the cupboard waiting for me. That's not to say I wont really enjoy seeing the back of them when they are all used up - and no, frankly when they are used up they wont be replaced. I'm just saying that at the moment, I can fit them easily and happily into my diet - I've already wasted the money by buying the stuff, I can't waste that money further by not using it.

So today then - big challenge is ahead of me! Other half has a gig up in Manchester of all places! So will be on my own for about twelve hours today (boo hoo).

My challenge today is to not allow El Saboteur (that's my new name for that little inner voice) to rear its ugly head. Honestly, there are lots of things I could be doing today and tonight, so need to focus on being productive, and not dwelling on the sofa again simply because I am on my own.

I think I'll take a leaf out of other halfs book and draw up a 'to do list' to keep me focused throughout the day, as it would be really good to be able to come back tomorrow and say that today was a complete success start to finish! :)

Weight Loss Challenge - Final Review

I will warn you up front this will be one of my longest blogs yet!

Almost 40 days ago now I began my weight loss journey. As far as weight loss is concerned, I've lost half a stone, and I can say hand on heart I look no different. To me half a stone is just a drop in the ocean. Yes it's a start, not a very good one, but a start none the less. In that time I would have liked to have at least doubled that figure, but I didn't, and despite this, the challenge did achieve a necessary change!

When looking back at myself at the beginning of the challenge, on a psychological level I am looking at a completely different person. I see a person with numerous emotional and psychological ties that each in turn took a chunk out of my own personal happiness and overall well being.

Where these ties came from, well some I have my suspicions, some I'm sure if I sat and dwelled long enough I'd discover a deep and meaningful under lying cause and some I'm sure have no base in reality what-so-ever. Who knows, but more importantly, who cares!

Beware the ties that bind - for these are the restrictions you place upon yourself. Hang on a mo, I'll fetch the scissors.

So there I was back then, hating myself, hating the scales, hating food, and generally dissatisfied with life. Now there's a pretty picture ain't it!

I knew, as I still know now, my desired end result, not just with weight loss, but in life, career, home etc. The problem is knowing the destination is simply not good enough, even thinking you know how you're going to achieve your goals isn't enough. If you don't release that which is really tieing you down, even though you may think you're moving in the right direction, you're not.

I thought I had the answer. I was going to lose 1 lb every day, reach my goal weight quickly and be happy ever after. I was going to achieve this by restricting my calorie intake and exercising like there was no tomorrow. Before you all start tutting or shouting at me, I want you to note the over use of 'past tense' in the paragraph.

Good in theory? well no, but I thought it was. So on day one, I stepped on the scales, 2lbs off - great! Day two, I stepped on the scales, 1 lb off - still great! Day three, I stepped on the scales, another 1 lb off - this is going so well. Day three - um, so hungry I end up eating that blasted horse, now hung up on the fact that I've just undone the past three days. Day four, I stepped on the scales - oh bugga, I have. Feel really depressed and like a complete failure. Vow to do another week of the above before I step back on the scales. And so we go on. This is literally the rut I had gotten myself in.

Weighing yourself every single day, no matter how you try and dress it up, is an unhealthy obsession. It's an addiction, pure and simple.

So when Paul McKenna suggests as part of his I can make you thin plan, that maybe you only weigh yourself once every two weeks, or even just once a month, well in theory I could see the logic. But getting off those scales were really hard!! I had a real battle with myself, and in the beginning I'd justify to myself that I was having 'just a quick check' on my weight loss progress. So what happens, when the scales didn't move, or it went up (because I wasn't actually following the plan and reverted back to old habits), I'd get disheartened, feel like a failure and vow to do better. Which let's be honest, I never did.

I took some much needed time out this morning to reflect on my life and I suppose if I had made any headway what-so-ever.

Actually, when looking at where I am as opposed to where I was:

- I'm more aware of the feeling of actual hunger, and can recognise when the hunger is physical or emotional.
- I'm learning to accept that actually, I'm not so bad after all
- I've banished the scales. I don't need them right now, and I have no desire to continue to be dictated to by the results they show.
- I'm learning more about the correct portion sizes for me, and accept that smaller portions are not only fine, but normal!

Frankly this list could go on for quite a bit! But the most important revelation of all is that I will NEVER touch another so called 'diet' ever again!

I'm listening very carefully to what my body needs, and what it doesn't need is another 'crash diet'. It doesn't need to be told that it can only have liquids, or a combination of liquids and so called 'meals'. It doesn't need to be told that it can only eat certain foods on certain days, or count calories or 'points' or fat content or weigh and measure every thing!

My father once said to me 'everything in moderation', and you know, I never really appreciated this little saying - until now.

Beware the ties that bind - my true ties were feeling as if I had to 'diet' and constantly weigh myself in order to gain acceptance in the world.

Well I will tell you right now - NOT ANY MORE!!! My body knows what it wants, and you know what, I'm jolly well going to work WITH it and give it exactly what it wants, instead of working against it and trying to starve or restrict the energy it needs to live.

Don't think for one minute I have completely potty and am on the road for gaining a million pounds in weight and become Britain's fattest female! Oh no, on the contrary, I have every intention of only eating when I'm hungry, stopping when I'm full even (gasp!) throwing away food I can't eat, or at least storing the left overs until such a time my body is physically hungry again.

My future is bright. My future is very shiny. My future involves reaching a healthy weight which is perfect for me. My future is freedom from those negative ties, freedom from diets, freedom from constantly weighing myself and obsessing that I 'Should' be this weight by this date.

I am putting my 'weight loss challenge' to bed now, once and for all. I'm not going to stop blogging by any stretch of the imagination, I enjoy it! so why stop!!?

And yes, I'll still report on my weight loss, and share, perhaps in more detail, all the things I'm learning and experiencing along the way.

Today I have realised that without all these binds, my future has suddenly become so squeezabley good! It's crazy but all this weight has been lifted completely from my shoulders!

I've got my zest for life back - and frankly I'm now just itching to go out and just live!

x-x-x

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twenty Eight

When they were up they were up, and when they were down they were down. Oi vey! Right now I guess you can really say that all positivity has gone right out of the window.

Yesterday was a slip up, I'll admit that right now. Had 2 slices of toast for lunch, and didn't eat them consciously. If I had of done I would have stopped half way through the first slice and chucked the rest in the bin. Consequently I felt bloated and quite sluggish afterwards. Dinner was exactly the same as I didn't chew the food slowly enough, and then I had the cheek to have a couple of slices of toast for supper. Ok, so my daily food intake is in reality less than what was the norm, but still, it doesn't take away the fact that I over filled my body unnecessarily.

The key to my self presumed failure yesterday I believe was actually not drinking enough water. Usually I'm sipping all day, but yesterday I only had one 750ml bottle. No where near enough! I'm used to having two or three of these! And on that note, I've just gone and grabbed my bottle and had a couple of sips.

On top of all this, I didn't fill in my success journey either - arrrgggghhhhhh what is going on with me!! I refuse to let myself self sabotage as I am doing so well!! I've lost almost half a stone already and it's only the 1st week! Breathing deeply, and getting a grip now.

When you're down, your brain really does start to come up with some crazy stuff. For example, I told myself that I had lost control over the house and haven't 'settled into country living as well as I hoped to'. More precisely, I'm not spending nearly enough time in the 'farmers wife' roll. You know, wearing my apron, baking, pottering in the garden, chasing the dog up the garden waving my rolling pin because he's stolen something freshly baked off the window sill whilst cooling. I have quite a romantic ideal of country life, and now I'm here, I don't find myself living it! It's not life how I imagined it to be, but that being said, It's up to me to live and take those actions which is in keeping with the life I want, and at the moment, simply I am not.

When a negative thought or emotion comes your way, you must grab your rolling pin and bash back a positive one. Sort of like the saying, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

As I am here, I may as well deal with my own demons!

1. Yesterdays slip up. Ok, so bread intake was a little higher than normal, but that's ok. PM did say we were bound to have slip ups. The thing to do is to forgive ourselves, and move on. Well, ok. I have forgiven myself for yesterday, and am now more determined to keep on the right track. Just keep in mind that my first YouTube weigh in is in three weeks and I want it to be phenomenal! Besides which, I am feeling a huge difference in my eating habits, and portion sizes now. I don't need or want to eat so much, and I feel fuller and more satisfied a lot quicker. I have begun to actually enjoy food and think of it in a positive light. It has begun not to be in control of me, which frees my mind up to concentrate on other things - the void is a wonderful thing! We know what we did incorrectly yesterday, which is great because at least we really do know! Today, we just get back on the horse, and ride of into the sunset once more :D

2. Didn't drink enough yesterday? This is an easy peasy one! Yes ok so you didn't, just make sure you always have a bottle of water to hand again today and hey presto! problem solved :D

3. Didn't fill in the success journal - do it now then!...... Done!! Well that was easy. Oh and just remember you DID listen to the CD, so you haven't fallen off the wagon by any means!

4. The country life. So what do I really want from it? This isn't one for the blog, this is something I need to do on pen and paper, which I will do after I've finished blogging.

As you can see, the process is actually quite a simple one. Identify the negative, turn it into a positive and take the necessary action. Ok, so I didn't fill the journal in, BUT I listened to the CD, AND I can fill the journal in now (and I really honestly did! I put the laptop down, went upstairs and grabbed the journal, came back downstairs, filled it in, then carried on blogging). It really is that simple!!

Hey I'm feeling a lot better already :)

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twenty Six

Well blow me, another successful day! (this is starting to become a habit!).

Actually managed a video dairy yesterday morning, which is trying to upload onto YouTube as we speak. I have managed to upload a couple I have done previously (before I decided to do PM's programme) just as a bit of a taster of how I was coping with life before (or not as was the case). Did attempt the new one last night, but it came up with an error message and failed to upload (boo hoo), so fingers crossed this will work now (have just checked the progress, at least I'm seeing the 'preview' as it downloads, so signs (touch wood) are good!).

Also finally started exercising again, did usual toning stuff (arms / legs / abs), and then did a 10 minute walk / jog on the treadmill. Somewhere along the lines I managed to pull something in my upper thigh as it twinged on and off for most of the day. Well, you know what they say no pain......actually I'd rather leave it there, I'm not very good with pain!

Food wise, I tried to gauge where I was on the hunger scale. When I thought I was hungry I decided to have tuna & crackers, but only managed 1 cracker and a few teaspoonful of tuna before I started to feel quite full and bloated, so put the rest of it back in the fridge. I did go back to the tuna later on when I thought I was feeling hungry, and automatically stopped when I had had enough. Usually I can polish of a can in one sitting (including a number of crackers), so this does signal progress to me!

Evening meal wasn't eaten so consciously. Firstly I didn't gauge whether or not I was actually hungry, and secondly, I was feeling quite annoyed at something or other, so on reflection I ate more emotionally. Still, it was only spicy chicken & homemade chips done in the oven so really I'd hardly call it a 'slip up'. I didn't feel hungry, or eat anything throughout the rest of the evening (despite settling down to watch a film, and other half munching on Bombay mix (which he offered to me) and butter popcorn (which he also try to offer me!!). But suffice to say, I actually wasn't interested at all, I was more concerned about keep hydrated so sipped a couple of 750ml bottles of water.

Finally got around to doing the 'mirror exercise' yesterday. Oh dear, I knew I didn't like myself much, but it really brought home how much self loathing I actually do have for myself :(

There are three stages you have to go through. The first is shutting your eyes, imagining that you are someone who loves themselves, and then when you can hold onto and feel comfortable with that feeling, you open yours eyes and stare into them for two minutes. I thought my imagination was better than that, but could I think of a single person? It took me ages, and even then the person I chose I wasn't convinced, so ended up pretending the person was me. Needless to say, I'm not sure the exercise worked in the way it was supposed to.

Step two was closing your eyes, and remembering a compliment someone had paid you, and then you try to imagine seeing yourself through their eyes. I believe I skipped this step as i don't remember doing it!

Finally Step Three, in a nutshell you look at yourself in the mirror (without clothes, or in my case just my underwear), and basically have a good long look at yourself for about a minute or two. I did this last step, and got quite annoyed. Bottom line, I really did despise what I saw (strong word I know, but it was truly how I felt at the time). On the bright side I could start to see how I would look if some bits were 'shaved' off (I just need one of those sanders they use to shave down doors!). In the end I put my clothes back on a walked off in disgust.

And the moral of the story? Well, at least I have started to face up to my body which I have never done. With the hunger scale thing seemingly to be working so far, my next project is getting the Helly Love back (or just the Helly Like would be a great start!). So I guess this means more time in front of the mirror just 'looking' at myself. I'm sure with practice I'll get better, just need to give this whole 'friendly mirror exercise' thingy a chance.

So with the mirror exercise done, I am pleased to report that was able to finally tick everything off in the 90 day journal hurray!

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twenty Five

I think I'll begin this morning by saying that the scales have now been put behind the TV! Obsession wise, I was fine until I woke up this morning, then I had an argument in my head about should I shouldn't I, and eventually the 'ah go on just a peak' won. Not a happy bunny in that respect so have put the blasted thing out of sight and hopefully out of mind.

I should point out though that today is day four of PM's programme, and the scales this morning show that I have lost a total of 5lbs. Bugga me! What gets me is that I haven't been starving myself, when I've felt (or thought I felt) hungry I ate what I fancied and to top it all off, I haven't actually managed to get back to my exercise routine yet (which I will kick start again this morning).

The problem I am having at the moment is that I can't quite get my head around the fact that my current eating habits are showing so far the easiest weight loss results in my life! I'm not 'on a diet', and yet it appears I've lost 5lbs in 4 days. Very weird.

So what did I do yesterday? Well for starters, I kept a bottle of water with me at all times which I drank from regularly throughout the day. I made a conscious effort to ask myself 'where am I on the hunger scale', and when I thought I was in the 'hungry zone' I ate. I chewed each mouthful slowly, put knife and fork down in between bites, and stopped when I felt comfortably full - throwing out what I couldn't eat, and only feeling a tiny bit guilty about it!

I also listened to PM's CD (twice!) to try and reinforce these habits and keep on the wagon so to speak. Both times I will fully admit to actually drifting off, so I still have no idea what he's saying!

All in all, I am really pleased at how yesterday went, despite not getting around to doing the mirror thing which I will have a go at after I've done my exercises. At least way i can say I've started doing it and can tick it off the list!!

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twenty Four

When I said I wasn't a slave to the scales any more, I lied! Oops! Maybe it was because I didn't listen to PM's CD yesterday, maybe my 'craving' to hop onto the scales is too great. Whatever you call it, this morning I could resist them no longer I had to just very quickly have a preview as to how I'm doing. After all, this morning I don't feel any different, and couldn't believe that what I had been doing over the past couple of days had made any difference what so ever.

So the results? Well I had to do a double take as the scales have shown me to be 3lbs lighter than when I started PM's programme! Great result, so maybe this thing does work after all!?

One thing is for sure, I know I have an unhealthy obsession with the scales, which must STOP. After all, I really enjoyed the mental freedom from thinking scales? PAH! don't need them every day, I'm fine as I am thank you very much!

I don't know what changed in my psychology this morning. But, what I do know is that PM has provided a couple of techniques in his book regarding cravings, and despite this being more directed at certain foods, I think it's about time I gave it a bash for the scales, hey it's a craving right!?

The other thing I am determined to crack today is no longer being part of the 'clean plate club'. Whether I can detect whether I am full whilst eating or not, I am determined to leave something at every meal, even if it's only a mouthful. Why? apparently it helps you to keep in control of your food, and not the other way around. I can see the theory behind this, but unfortunately I am still well and truly part of 'the club', and very aware that leaving things on the plate will be frowned upon.

Hey ho, for these occasions I must keep telling myself 'I'd rather be slim and in control, than a fat person with a clear plate'.

Priorities for tonight really have to be to listen to the CD, and try out the mirror test (which I haven't even looked at yet and basically involves lots of looking at yourself in the mirror (funny that!)trying to connect with the slimmer you, and produce feelings of love and well being (or something)).

Any how, it's on my list of things to tick off in the 90 day journal, so I really should give it a go.

Right, it's almost time I should be making a move, busy day at work calls so let's just get it over and done with and so I can get onto the fun stuff! (you know, ironing, housework, cooking the fellas tea, you know, the really fun stuff! tee hee).

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twenty Three

Yesterday I completed my first successful day of Paul McKenna's I can make you thin programme.

I was a little apprehensive as we had my other halfs family over for a BBQ, and I was adamant that this would not cause me to fall 'off the wagon'. Before deciding to commit to this programme, I had originally planned to not eat anything at all, as I have in the past over indulged when presented with lovely BBQ food!

However, according to the golden rules of this plan: 'when you're hungry EAT'. 'Eat what you like so long as you are hungry', 'when you're full, STOP eating' (I'm paraphrasing slightly here, but you get the gist). So with this at the forefront of my mind, I decided that I wanted to have some BBQ food, but I would chew slowly, and stop eating when satisfied.

Amazingly it more or less worked! Essentially I had a burger in a bun and a sausage in a roll. That's it. On the negative side, I could have easily stopped at just the burger, but felt as though I 'should' have the sausage as well so I ate it, it was nice, but I didn't get real enjoyment from doing so.

On the positive side, after eating the sausage in a roll, I didn't feel horrible & bloated, I just felt 'full', and when the chicken came out I didn't think twice about refusing. After the BBQ everyone had chocolate ice cream, everyone apart from me! I didn't fancy it, I was full enough! Instead I busied myself tidying the kitchen (ok not very social, but at least I didn't have to look at everyone eating icecream).

The other great thing is that I didn't feel for a single second that I was 'missing out' on anything, I ate what I felt I wanted and needed, and then simply stopped. That was quite a liberating experience!

What I found slightly difficult yesterday, and what I am trying to practice today, is actually gauging my hunger levels. This may sound odd, but I have spent my whole life either in starvation of completely bloated / over filled with food, so the real hunger signals my body tries to send me are a little feint right now! But that's ok, with practice I am sure I'll get better at this! But like PM has suggested, in these early stages if you don't know you are hungry, guess! If you have two mouthfuls and then find you are full, just stop.

So for now, I am going to follow this philosophy :)

Another thing worthy of note yesterday was that my other half asked whether I was 'on target' for the holiday. My response? I have no idea! This caused him a little concern as it gave him the impression that I had fallen off the wagon and had my head in the sand. But really nothing was further from the truth! Following PMs plan means I have to give the scales a wide berth for a while. By doing this I really have no idea how my actual weight loss is going (but please, it's only been 1 day give me a break!!).

Usually I measure my weight loss success by the scales alone. But with them out the picture how else do I do it? Simple answer is, I don't. I just crack on with life and in 30 days, then we'll see how successful I am.

For the first time in my life, I feel like these chains have been cut. I don't feel right now that I am a slave to the scales, and I feel so much happier and 'lighter' for it!

Weight Loss Challenge - Day Twenty Two

Last night I delved into the world that is Paul Mckenna 'I Can Make You Thin', and started by watching the half an hour DVD that came free with the book.

As with most people, I have seen him on the television doing his hypnosis stuff, and yes it was mildly amusing for a Saturday night, but it didn't have that 'wow' factor for me, so you can understand my slight scepticism prior to pressing the play button.

And the conclusion? In all honesty it was the funniest half an hour of my life! Funny, but more importantly he actually succeeded in making that all important connection with me. A connection that now makes me very eager to proceed through the 90 day programme whole heartidly! (which is odd, because I'm not usually this easy!)

The DVD starts with him on stage, in front of a small(ish) audience, most of whom are over weight. He goes through a few basic principles of the plan, asking leading questions i.e put your hand up if you've ever done / felt / thought etc. By the hand I was laughing my head off and raising my hand! (so glad it was only the dog & I in the room!!).

Now don't take the laughter the wrong way, it wasn't in jest, it was of relief! What he was saying made so much sense. It was so simple, so straight forward, and so logical! He reinforced his key points perfectly - 'what are you going to do when you're hungry' EAT!!! Yes I was shouting it out with the audience! What are you going to do when you're full - STOP!! even now I am chuckling to myself as I replay the DVD in my mind. :D

Towards the end he asked the audience to raise their hands if they weighed themselves everyday (oh for goodness sake, yes ok, my hand went up!). This was something that had to stop throughout this process. Put those scales away! Um, I beg your pardon? put them away? Er, ok you're the boss I guess.

What I experienced on the DVD wasn't your average Saturday night light entertainment 'hypnotist'. I saw a professional man who had the ability to whip up and motivate the audience (and me), and who not only talked sense, but more importantly made it clear that he could give you the tools, but ultimately the responsibility is yours to follow through with the plan.

With the DVD still in mind, I woke up this morning with a very large void in my brain. Why? well ok, so I can eat what I like, as long as I only eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. What I need to practice today is recognising when I'm actually hungry and not dehydrated and just think I'm hungry. If your eating habits are all out of sync, like mine, you may find this a very strange concept to grasp! Having being used to 'you must eat 3 or 6 times per day, and you must only eat or drink xyz' etc.

The other reason for the void is mainly to do with the scales. I'm 'not allowed' to weight myself now until I'm 30 days into the process. In one way it's odd, as I am so used to hopping on every day, or every other day just to 'check' how things are going. In another way, I do feel a very strange sense of freedom - no more hopping on the scales at any given moment! My what am I going to do with myself!! (Um, that'll be actually have a life then!).

As I said in my previous post, I will follow this 90 day plan faithfully and to the letter, including dumping the scales! (tee hee I feel like such a rebel). I'll include reviews on my progress when I do my usual weekly weight loss challenge review - and hey, you may actually start seeing YouTube videos appearing too!